Today was my second time at NP and it was still intimidating. Both times I have gone I can't help but wish that the boy was there next to me. Sometimes it's hard, but I know soon enough he will be here with me and I won't be forced to struggle with this long distance thing. This may seem unrelated to you, but I stopped believing in coincidences around April/May. Today Andy started a new series, Shocking Statements of Jesus. He talked about how Jesus said things that made everyone uncomfortable, like "Love your enemies, pray for your enemies."
The passage he looked at today was John 6:54-68. A brief introduction: Jesus had just fed thousands of people, a feat that was nearly impossible at that time. He had a crowd of people following him, because hey, he had food. Who ever thought of the idea of giving out free food at call-outs for groups/clubs at college must have been a Christian and read this. I mean, if you want people to follow you, feed them. If you keep feeding them, they'll keep following you. But then you say something like "love your enemies" and people will start to think, "Woah. Wait a minute-what's this guy talking about?" and then they start to question if it's beneficial for them to keep following you around and believing what you say. This is what happened to to Jesus right about then. Following him was about to get complicated for the crowd.
Right about when the crowd was deserting Jesus, his 12 disciples started questioning as well. He knew what was on their hearts and so he asked, "You do not want to leave too, do you?" (John 6:67) Peter was the only to respond in verse 68: "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life."
If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, and you are struggling with transition, trial, or temptation, you might want to think if you just stop believing, it will be easier. But if you say no to Jesus, who are you saying yes to? You can't say no without saying yes to something else and the reverse is also true. If you say yes to one thing, you will be saying no to another.
This is where the "coincidences don't exist" idea plays a part for me. I am going through a transition right now: I have just moved to Atlanta, I have a career and my boyfriend is still living in Indiana. I am no longer a college student. I have been struggling with being new in the area and not really knowing anyone. At first I started to turn away from Him, because it was hard. It was hard to accept this change and I was unsure if it was the right choice for me. I could have gone to Jacksonville, FL or Houston, TX. What if those had been better choices? What if I should have gone there instead? What if, what if, what if. Only God knows that answer. Andy left us with this to think about, "Don't focus exclusively on your questions. Consider the options."
So I can't help but rethink my decision to be here in Atlanta, and I have come to this conclusion: I need to be here. I am supposed to be here. If I wasn't supposed to be here, I wouldn't be. I trust God to guide me to where He wants me to be and know that He only gives good gifts. I cannot live my life wondering "what could have been" otherwise I will not be able to move forward with my life and if that means I have to put my trust in God-well. That's not exactly a problem. The same goes for my relationship with the boy. I trust that God has a plan for the two of us and I pray that He will remain in the center of our relationship. The boy is truly amazing, and I see Christ in him. I thank God every day for bringing him into my life and I know that if we had met three years ago, I don't think I would have given him a second thought.
On a completely different note, I have bookshelves from IKEA! I set them up yesterday and I am starting to fill them with books and things. Unfortunately I am going to have to go back tomorrow or Tuesday if I want to buy the couch I have found that I really like... So, I guess I'm going back, haha. And then maybe I'll actually be "living" in my apartment finally. Well, I feel like I live here but it's a little challenging when I have to sit on the floor in my living room because the cats have taken over the two chairs that are in my living room (my teal butterfly chair and a camping chair). I think I'll end up putting the butterfly chair in the 2nd bedroom with my bookshelves and create kind of a reading nook. And maybe I'll start decorating my bedroom as well... There is nothing on the walls right now. Now I just need to figure out what I want on the walls. Any suggestions?
Until next time, dear readers.
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