Where has this year gone???

It's already practically half way through July! What's going on?? It's been over a month since I last posted, so, here's some fun updates for you.

-My man moved home yesterday, we're hoping that he'll be able to find a full time job in that area soon after relocating.
-I'm moving at the end of this month, to Virginia! I have never lived there, so it sure will be an adventure.
-My family is all living west of me. Pretty much the other side of the country. I miss them. (California, Edmonton, and Colorado)


Okay, so those updates weren't that fun. Sorry about that. But, on the note of me moving to Virginia... I vaguely know where I will be moving to, so the first thing I did was find a church. I have actually found a couple possibilities.

1) Chester Christian Church - very similar (from what I have seen) to what I am used to. Similar to Chase Oaks and North Point, along with the church my man's family attends (I have been to it and love the pastor there) and the church PCCH.
2) New Venture Christian Church - a unique take on church. Their website is even "relaxedchurch.com". From their website their beliefs are also similar to the churches I have been attending, so this will definitely be an interesting visit.
3) Destiny Church - my future-future father-in-law actually found this one, and I can't seem to find it online anywhere. I'll have to talk to him about finding it's website again so I can actually take a look at it. but if he recommends it, I'm sure it will be good (and similar to the churches I have been attending).


So from the little bit I have talked to my man, he is glad to be home and his family is glad that he is home too. I'm glad he's happy - now I just have to figure out what I am doing and get myself to where I need to go. Which will hopefully be soon...

What now?

One of my coworkers told me today that after this project is over, she is going to work for her family's business. (Yay for her!) I also found out that the project manager and superintendent may know where they are going for the next project... and if I were to go there too I would be at least 9.5 hours from my man's hometown, and roughly 19 hours from where he is now. No. No. I can't move there. I don't know what city it would be in, but it's not like that would make a difference based on the fact it would be 9+ hours from him. No. 

I don't want to keep doing this, I can't. I can't handle the distance any more. Breaking up is not an option. He is the reason I go to work every day. I only go to work because at the end of the day I'm one day closer to seeing him again, and I can take that money and put it into savings for future use, like moving expenses.

On our mini road trip to OK

Ugh. I wish I had a family business to go to... I wish this was easier. I wish we weren't long distance, I can't take it any more. We've only been LD for about 4 months, and I can't take it any more. 3 more months of this project, and then who knows where I'll be. He doesn't even know where he will be... I know I can't stress out too much about this, because it's all in His timing, right?



Recently it's become very clear to me that I have to practice patience. Things will get easier with more patience. Things will make more sense, and I have a feeling they will work out, if I am able to be more patient. So I'm trying. After listening to a recent series from NPCC, I've thought more about where I am. What I am doing, and what I want to be doing. My answer? I have no clue. I have no idea what I "should" be doing or even want to be doing. I guess all I can do right now is pray that God will help me find my way, and keep doing what I'm doing.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

I picked this verse for today because I know that I need to focus on this in the upcoming weeks/months. It's funny (or something) how things work out sometimes. My man moved to Atlanta in August to be with me. Which was fantastic until I moved to Dallas. I was able to go to Indy for his Great Banquet weekend at Connection Pointe at the end of February. From what what I could tell, he had a really good time and enjoyed his experience. I was able to pull off the surprise visit, which was nice. I also got to hang out with his family for a while, which is always a fun time.

We found out that Sunday evening that there might be something available for him in the Indy area (job wise). I can't say anything about it, partly because I don't know and partly because it's not officially available yet. So, as of right now, we don't know where I will be once this project is completed. My company still hasn't told me yet, and I'm not sure when they will know. We know that I am in Dallas (full-time now!), and he is in Atlanta (with awesome volunteer opportunity that he is taking advantage of, and a part time job). Other than that, we're just in a state of maybe's. It stinks, but it's the only option we've got right now. He's been talking with the maybe-job and they can't tell him anything because one of the guys is on vacation this week, but hopefully in the next couple of weeks they will be able to give him a better idea of what's going on.

So really, we know nothing more than we did before he went to his Great Banquet weekend. At this point, we're focusing on letting go and letting God. It will work out, and only He knows how. We put our faith in Him for a reason, and so we're praying that He guides us to a good place.

With all I am, Lord, I will follow You

I'm going to go a little off my "norm" for posting. Today's update doesn't really follow a sermon. It's actually a combination of the two that I heard today, this morning at Chase Oaks and this evening at North Point. Chase Oaks started a new series this morning about David, titled "Messy Spirituality", and North Point started a series entitled "The Comparison Trap". On that note, I'll start with the fact that I have recently been struggling with something. It appears that a lot of girls in committed, serious, relationships seem to struggle with this as well (some guys, too, from what I gather). It seems as though my friends are all getting engaged or married. Some of them already have families, some multiple kids. So I continue to ask, "Why hasn't it been my turn yet? Why haven't I been able to find that happiness?" (But I have, more on that in a minute.)

My first thought is that I don't deserve that happiness, that some of the choices that I made in the past are detrimental to my present, and future, contentment. I think this because I was happy, but then work made me move away from my happiness. I'm struggling with the issues that come with all long-distance relationship. And let me tell you, you think it might get easier? It doesn't. I applaud those who do this regularly because of their situations, because I am here with you now, and it is not a fun place to be. I had convinced myself that I am destined to be in this state of limbo, not really knowing where I am. This morning during my time at Chase Oaks Jeff (the senior pastor) spoke about David. To sum up this morning's message: That thing that you think is keeping you from doing something great? That thing that you think is detrimental to God choosing you to do His work? It's exactly why He will choose you. God does not look at the things that man looks at, He only looks at the purity of our hearts. Those who are pure of heart will do great things, God will see to that.

Woah. Wait a minute there, Jeff. You mean that I will get to my place of happiness one day? Yea. That's exactly what it means. You mean that I will get to be just like the rest of my friends who are happily engaged/married/parents? Yep.

Well, that's a relief. But I'm still unhappy. I'm unhappy because Friend A is getting married late spring/early summer. Friend B is planning on proposing to his girlfriend this summer/early fall. Friend C is having her first baby this summer. Friend D just bought a house with his fiancee. Why can't I be there too? Why can't I have that kind of happiness? So I sink back down into my original state of unhappiness.

Fast forward to this evening (yes, folks, this all happened in one day. Most of my feelings have been building over the last couple of months, but every once in a while they get more extreme). I sit down to watch North Point, I miss being there at the main campus. I wish I could be, but I can watch on my TV now so I'll tune in every week in the evenings. Opening sequence plays and announces the new series: "The Comparison Trap."

Okay, really? Come on, God. Really?? Fine. I'll watch. I'll listen with an open heart. What is it You want me to hear?

There is no win in comparison. You can look to your left and to your right all you want, but you'll just be more unhappy with where you are. (Next week Andy will discuss the mirror we should be looking in. Who should we be looking at?) We live in the land of -er. We all want to be happy-er, strong-er, skinny-er, rich-er, etc. We are constantly comparing ourselves to others. (I just sat there on my couch, mouth gaping. After a few moments I had to just shake my head. I get it, Lord. Okay? I get it. I'll work on it. I have to start some where/some time. Show me how.)

It seems to me, that on a regular basis, God proves that He has a sense of humor. He puts these struggles into my life, and then He throws something like today at me. Thanks for that. I really appreciate it. (No really, I actually do.)

It's amazing how He does this to me. Have you ever felt that He was playing games with you? Sometimes it's frustrating, at least it is for me, but I know that He has a plan for me and that if I want to see where it's leading me I just need to relax and know that I am in good hands.

So remember these things: God does not look at the things that man looks at. He is only concerned with the purity of your heart. And there is no win in comparison.

Until next time, dear readers.

Romans 5: 6-8

No matter what life brings

So in my last update I said that I was moving to Dallas. Well, I have officially moved. My stuff is here, but I am still very much in boxes. (Makes cooking a little challenging, haha) I've actually been here for a week, although it doesn't feel like it. Well, I was in LA for most of last week. I'm going to be traveling between the two cities every other week. It's going to be sort of fun, because I'll get to see family that I have in LA. Less fun because there's a 2 hour time change between here and there, and even less fun because I'll be away from my kitties for two weeks every month.

My man stayed in ATL and so on top of my traveling every other week we are also dealing with a long distance relationship. After being in the same city for a while-with no school commitments- it became clear to me just how much I need him in my life. So I'm struggling with the fact that our relationship is now texts during the day, nightly phone calls and skype dates. Don't get me wrong, I am happy. I am less than thrilled that this is what our relationship has become, but it has to. And I'm okay with it. Not happy, but okay. From what I can tell, he's feeling the same way I am about this. I cannot speak for him, but through our phone calls I can tell he misses me just as much as I miss him.

So, I am now a traveler. I'm adjusting to the life-style. I'm not sure how well I am adjusting yet, but I am adjusting. I need to find the motivation to unpack myself out of boxes so I can feel like I actually live here. Since most of my stuff is still packed away, it's hard for me to feel like I do live here. It's getting there. Slowly-very slowly. I'm trying to unpack a box a day. And, well, I unpacked a few boxes today. But I haven't found places for everything I unpacked yet, so why did I unpack? Now my stuff is just... everywhere.

Anyway, I need to pack tomorrow for LA and do a little cleaning before I go to bed, and I'm tired. Tomorrow is going to be busy for me, my flight leaves at 5:57am tomorrow. I am going to be tired Monday if I don't get to bed early tomorrow, which means I should go to bed early tonight. So, until next time, dear readers.


PS If you get the chance, check out northpointonline.tv and watch the message titled "This One Thing". Nehemiah 3:6 is helping me through this tough situation. I am focusing on Him. I have to, otherwise I won't make it.

End of the Year Life update

So as the title says, this is going to be a mini life update for me. Chances are you already know this but I'll say it anyway. I am moving to Dallas in January for work. I don't have a place to live yet (+10 stress) (okay, at least not officially. I found a place that looks nice and isn't super expensive, and they have my application and they're just waiting on my deposit and application check which I mailed on Monday.), my man is going to stay here (+5 stress), and I'm going to be working on TWO projects (+7 stress) that I've never had experience with before (+6 stress  +8 stress). Luckily the moving company came today and did the survey of my apartment, so that's one less thing on my plate. Now I just have to prime and spackle the walls... Also, I have found out that I'll be traveling to the job in LA twice a month for about three days at a time. So, 4 plane rides a month. That means about 12 hours on airplanes plus all of the airport time. I'm planning on using that time working on my 52 book challenge. So, as you can imagine, life is a little hectic right now.

I'm going to try and keep updating, but I don't know how often it will be. I've done some research about where I will be living, and I think I may have found a new church to go to. I'm going to try and keep up with North Point still, because I like Andy so much. Chase Oaks seems like it will be okay, I can't give you an honest opinion since I've never been. I'll let you know what I think once I get there. (Unrelated, but I think I'm going to find a zumba class when I get there as well. I think I would like it.) I'm also planning on becoming a Texas resident, so that means new driver's license, new plates, new car insurance, etc. Eep! So much to do in such short time... and I'll probably be regularly working 10-12 hour days.

We found my man a place to live and we're planning on getting all of the rest of his stuff into his new place this weekend, so that will be good. I think. We're struggling-okay, I'm struggling with this idea that we'll be 13+ hours apart. (and twice a month we'll be on opposite sides of the country. boo.) But we'll make it work, I know we will. We made it through the two months during the summer, we can make it through the next 7 or 8. We also know that God has a plan for us, and I'm relying heavily on Him through this transition in my life.

"God makes all things work together for my good." -- Your Love Never Fails by Chris Quilala/Jesus Culture

I am looking forward to this next phase in my life as a "traveler" as I've heard it called at work. I know this won't be a forever thing, but I'm sure looking forward to it for a now kind of thing. I trust in the Lord and prayed about this for three days before I made my decision. I hope that this change will mean good things for me and for my career. Plus, I've never been to Texas. (that one time I was in Houston for less than 24 hours doesn't count. and yes, I did leave the airport.)

Until next time, dear readers. Romans 8:28

How did I get here? (part 4)

So I left off with my acceptance to my job in ATL, which is why I am here and have the opportunity to attend North Point. My man, P, agreed that ATL would be the best option for both of us. We made the decision and I accepted the job offer here in about April. I was unsure when I wanted to start working, but I knew I wanted to take some time off between college and "real life". So all of a sudden graduation was upon us. Before I knew it, I was walking across the stage accepting my diploma and my man was smiling at me from the risers where the Glee Club was sitting. It was by far one of the best days of my life so far. 


So that brings me up to about the point where I had to make the move here from school. My man and one of my new best friends from my small group (who also happened to be my neighbor) helped me pack up my apartment and load it all into a Uhaul. My parents made it to school to help me with the last of the cleaning and loading of the truck. My dad drove the Uhaul here and my mom went back home because of the animals. My man and I drove my car and we got into ATL at about 3am. My dad got here with the Uhaul at about 7am (he stopped and took naps along the way) and we unloaded the Uhaul, found my towels, showered and then napped.


So really, that about catches me up to present day. Well, at least until I started regularly (sort of) blogging. Speaking of, I've been thinking. I know I've been trying to update weekly but I'm not sure that's working out for me (especially based on the fact it's been a month since I've posted). So I think what I'm going to do is update monthly, and at the end of series at North Point. Like a monthly life update and then a series update. We'll see how it works. At least that's my plan for now.


Also, two more things for this update. 1) I am addicted to Pinterest. 2) My goal for 2012 is to read 52 books. I've added a book list page, so if you have any recommendations, I would love to hear them from you. I'm open to almost anything. I'd rather avoid lots of biographies, politics, and factual history. One or two would be okay, but they aren't exactly the most interesting books (in my opinion). 


Anyway. Look for more updates from me, once in a while, and eventually crossing off books on my list. Maybe I'll do some book reviews as well. 


Until next time, dear reader. And thanks for sticking with me. I wasn't sure if I was going to update, but a very good friend of me told me the other evening that she missed reading my updates. So she's the reason I updated this evening. So thank you to her for giving me the desire to write again.

Be still, and know that I am God.

Laura Campbell, Indy West Great Banquet #22, Table of Martha.

I have to remember that, and I haven't found a sharpie yet to write it on my name tag so I'm putting it here. From now on, whenever I introduce myself to a member of the Great Banquet community, that's how I do it. And then everyone applauds. No, I'm not kidding.

For those of you who aren't familiar with the Great Banquet, it's a 72 hour experience where you are pushed to grow closer in your relationship with Christ. It's not a retreat, it's not a mission, it's an experience. We arrive Thursday evening and leave Sunday evening-yes, friends, that's right. I spent 72 hours "locked" in a church with many other women. Granted, there were other things going on, but we had our own schedule to stick to. Did I mention that they covered the clocks and we weren't allowed to have watches or cell phones? So, no communication with the outside world and no clue on the time. 

I loved every single minute of it. I would love to go into the details about why I loved it so much, but I can't. It's part of the experience, and if anyone were to ever go through it, I wouldn't want to ruin it for you. I admit I was nervous when I went in, but luckily my sponsors-and second family-were there with me. Still didn't ease my nervous-ness. But on Sunday as we were wrapping up-as most sisters in Christ do-we ended with hugs. As I hugged each of my sisters, almost every single one of them told me that they loved my energy. A few asked if they could have some of it, haha. Simply put, I had an amazing time. I made some amazing new friends, and I pray that we will be able to serve together on a future Great Banquet weekend.

Okay, so I picked up a few things from this weekend experience:

Be still and know that I am God.

God does not call the equipped, he equips the called.

If I can make the time to watch my favorite TV show or be on facebook, I can make the time for God in my daily life. And it's become very apparent that I need to.

As much as I don't want to admit it, I cannot be the spiritual leader for my future family. It's not my position. It's my man's job. And the only things I can do to help him is love and encourage. That's it. Everything else is between him and God. (Let me tell you, this one is a struggle for me. But I know that I need this rock in my life, and I know that my future children will need it too.)

I have struggled with prayer in my life since I opened my heart to God. But something that was said this weekend helped ease that struggle a little. "Even when we don't have the right words to say, God knows."

My relationship with God-yes, I have a relationship with the Lord-takes effort. Just like any other relationship. I may not be perfect, but I can count on Him to always be there for me. I can trust Him to always love me, no matter what. There is nothing you can do to make God love you less, and nothing you can do to make Him love you more. His love is everlasting.

I could go on and on about things I learned over the weekend-but I won't. I won't because I don't want to give anything away! One thing I can share with you though, is that I thoroughly believe that coincidences do not exist. I have been in this train of thought since about March or so. This weekend absolutely confirmed it. I know that God brought my man into my life at exactly the right moment. I know that if he and I had met any sooner, I don't think we would be together. I think, as much as I hate to admit it, would have completely ignored him. But that is not the case, so I need not worry about it. I have the perfect man in my life, and most importantly, I have God in my life.

The best thing about having God in my life is knowing that He will always be with me. No matter what.

Until next time, dear readers.

Philippians 4:13

How did I get here? (part 3)

Okay, so it wasn't right after dinner on Sunday, I'm sorry. But, it's within the same week, which, for me, seems to be a good thing. Enough with the small talk, I know why you're really here... onto part 3. I may wrap up my story tonight, but I heard that part 2 was a little intimidating in length and I don't want to keep you. Or... lose you... err... Well. I would appreciate it if you kept reading, so I'll (try to) keep it short.

So I left off on December 16, 2010. I had just come home with my first Bible and I was absolutely overwhelmed with emotions. I knew then that my mentors and friends were more than that-they had become more like a second set of parents. "In-state" parents if you will (since my mom was living in Wisconsin and my dad was living out west for work, Mom wanted to stay close so she could go to the football games). It's hard to describe what I was going through. I hadn't ever felt like I could have a relationship with God. I had thought about getting a Bible previously, but never had the courage to do so. I had no idea what to look for, after all. 

The rest of the time I was in my apartment I carried my Bible from room to room with me. It still hadn't really occurred to me that it wasn't going to go anywhere. When I got home for winter break my mom asked me about it and I told her the story. She said that was very sweet of his family to buy it for me-but they didn't have to. I told her that I had told them that, and they insisted-if I would let them. Besides, how could I say no to my new friends, mentors, and in-state parents? My mom and I flew west to be with my dad & sister for the holiday. No harm in checking out the mountains while we were there, right? ;) We spent pretty much all of the daylight hours on a mountain-or several of the peaks that the resorts have to offer. Overall, it was an amazing week to spend with my family.

While out there P and I continued to text each other. At this point, I don't even know who texted who first. All of a sudden I was checking my phone every opportunity I could. At the bottom of the run, at the top of the mountain after the lift ride up, while waiting in line to take a bathroom break, every 5 minutes during our short lunch breaks... My phone and I were pretty much inseparable. From my perspective, it was the same way with P, apart from the whole "mountain" part. He spent the break with his family-which ended up working out to my benefit a little. His dad texted me once in a while to let me in on the goings on. Like when they were watching a movie and P's little sister glared at him because he wasn't actually watching-he was texting me instead. Still makes me smile like crazy when I think about how many text messages we sent to each other over our three week break from school. (His dad eventually ended up informing me of how many texts we sent based on their bill. Lucky for us we both have unlimited texting!)

Over the course of the week I was on vacation, I dropped "subtle" hints that I like coffee and talking, once I realized that I kinda had a crush on this guy. After talking with him about it-it seems like I wasn't so subtle, haha. But I guess that's just how I am sometimes. Silly me. I had also mentioned that I was going to be back at school early because I was going to go to a women's basketball game-I was in the pep band and knew that the holiday games are always rough on the band. So I informed him that I would be back early and would enjoy some company. Eventually he asked me if I was busy after the game and when I said no, he asked if I wanted to hang out. I agreed, and then all of a sudden the butterflies hit me. I had spent very little time with him. Sure, we had sent roughly 4,000 texts to each other over a 3 week span, but we hadn't ever actually had a conversation! What if I didn't really like him? I mean, what if we couldn't have a face-to-face conversation??

Well. My butterflies just escalated on New Year's Eve. By that point the upcoming date with P was less than a week away, and I was still very nervous. My mom and I decided to hang out at home and watch the ball drop from our living room with all the animals instead of doing anything crazy. So I was sitting in the dining room watching a movie on my laptop-with my phone, of course, and at 11:00pm it rang. I panicked. It was him!! Why was he calling me?! He wanted to wish me a happy new year. (He forgot about the time change.) I was still in panic mode so I hardly spoke. (Later I heard from his dad that he said, "She was really quiet." Sorry that I'm not actually quiet, P....) But he made the first move. I called him at midnight central time and wished him a happy new year again. I could tell 2011 would be a fantastic new year-even though it was only a few minutes old. 

Well, the first date was fantastic. We grilled paninis and watched Avatar (the aliens, not the air bender). He drove me home and asked if I was busy the next day. I asked why-he said he wanted to take me to the children's museum and grab lunch with his dad downtown. (I had admitted to have never been to the museum, and Indy's is the biggest.) I immediately agreed and so he dropped me off and kissed me goodnight. Best. Kiss. Ever. (not to brag, but my man's the best, sorry ladies.) So our first date quickly turned into a weekend long event. 

School started and with that, our spring activities. I had also gotten in touch with an amazing person at Campus House before leaving, and when I expressed interest in being baptized she agreed to meet with me on a weekly basis to talk. I also joined a small group with Campus House. I ended up being in her group-and I met some absolutely amazing girls because of it. I know that without these girls in my life I would not have grown so much this past spring. P was quickly wrapped up in his senior design project along with Glee Club-something which I quickly discovered was a very large time sucker. We made it work. We mostly saw each other during homework time. Sometimes we were both so busy we didn't get to see each other until the weekend, or if I stopped by his work in between classes. 

Before I knew it, spring break appeared. I had interviews in three different cities with three different companies. I was very excited-and then he told me before my first interview, "Get a job. I'll find one near you." I was floored. I prayed that God would help me in my decision-if the offers came. They came. All three. I prayed that He would help me pick the one that would be good for both of us. With God's guidance, and input from P, I informed two of the companies that I was grateful for the offer, but I had already accepted a job with another company. 

I fear that I have gone on too long, dear reader. I will give you a break and hopefully catch up to present day, well, at least to graduation, in the next update. I fear that I have left out too many things, so I'll say this: I had so many moments over the beginning of the semester where I could feel God pulling my heart in a certain direction. The moment I voiced my desire to be baptized, I knew it was what He had been waiting for. I know that He had been waiting for me to accept His love, and now that I had, He was excited and wanted to show me that He had always been there for me even though I denied Him for so long.

Until next time, dear reader. 

And if our God is for us, 

then who could ever stop us

and if our God is with us

then what could stand against

"Our God" - Chris Tomlin

I'm going to try harder.

My man keeps giving me grief for not updating-I gotta admit it's kind of nice to know he actually reads my blog updates and may even like reading them, HA! It seems I haven't been updating nearly as much, I can only blame myself for this lack of updates. So, I'm going to try harder. I can't guarantee it will be every week, but I'll admit part of the problem was the lack of ideas coming to me. Especially since I'm not sure I want this to be a journal where I spew my issues with the world... That's what paper is for. Paper that I can read and then burn/shred/etc. I'll include important goings-on in my world, if I feel the need to.

Like the fact that my small group has met twice outside of Group Link, and tomorrow evening is my turn to share my story. It will be sort of like the update I started a long time ago... but in it's entirety. Well, sort of. I can't possibly tell my entire story in 10-15 minutes, but I can tell the important parts. Especially recent (and not-so-recent-but-still-seem-recent) events. In any case, I'm going to bring pictures from my baptism and the DVD of my lavaliere, both of which are extremely important to me and helps me tell my new friends about my life. (Plus I'll get to show off my man in his tuxedo... :-D)

So, I'll recap the series for you since I cannot go into detail about the last 4 weeks-partly because I cannot remember everything that Andy Stanley has said over the previous weeks. I'll hit the parts I thought were important/stuck out the most to me. To begin, this was a 6 week series titled "Recovery Road", I believe I posted about the first or second week, but haven't since.
Main points:

• Recovery begins with me, not them. It begins with we, not they.
• Recovery begins when moral authority supersedes reelection as the value of choice among our nations leaders.
• Recovery begins with a declaration of dependence.
• Recovery begins when we embrace the fiscal discipline of lending rather than borrowing.
• Recovery begins when we leverage our entitlement for the benefit of those less entitled.

So, to explain a few of the main points I listed: What do all of our elected officials have in common? They were elected. So how can we possibly expect them to change when we are the ones electing them? Which can only mean one thing: we have to reconsider who we are voting for-and why we are voting for them. I won't tell you who to vote for or why to vote for a certain person, that's up to you. Your decisions cannot be made for you-but if you are a Christian, you need to take a serious look at the candidates and allow your faith to help you choose. My man and I actually got into a discussion about this last night, about how I find it kind of ridiculous that we are so concerned with the fact that is . Mostly because of the fact that we're so ashamed/nervous about talking about religion in the public eye. This leads into the declaration of dependence. This isn't a direct quote, but I think I got most of it right, from Andy (this is in part 4, if you want to take a listen to the podcasts): we would rather run the risk of offending God than the 8% of Americans who do not believe in God. And, oh by the way, half of those 8% don't care if we do talk about God. What would happen if the men and women in Congress fell to their knees and declared dependence on God? Can you even imagine what would happen to our country if we accepted and put our trust in God again? If you're lucky enough to have those little green bills in your wallet, take one out. Look at the back of it. See the promise we have made to ourselves, to our country, to others, and most importantly, to our God? "In God We Trust." We readily accept these pieces of paper in our lives, but why can't we accept God? Why is it that talking about God on a national level leaves us uncomfortable? I can't tell you. I'm not sure anyone can answer that question. The finance week hit me in a spot that has been making me think about it since then. I haven't ever had a salary-I mean, yes. I had internships. But I feel like those were part time jobs, getting me ready for the real world (even though I was working full time). So now I have a steady income and I'm so used to being a broke college student, part of me is still spending like I was a broke college student. Which, I suppose is a good thing. I refuse to open a second credit card, and I recently opened a savings account with USAA so I can transfer some of my money every month into it. 

This leads me into the last main point, from today. I am so blessed to have this opportunity for a job upon my college graduation, and I am ecstatic that I am now able to help Campus House out in a way that I couldn't while I was in college. They helped me-and showed me a love that I was unsure of, I don't know how else to thank them. I'm not even sure that it will ever be enough. Money is one of the four things we are entitled to. In list form:

• Time
• Money
• Possessions
• Influence

Jesus doesn't care how you got what you have or how much you have. What matters is what you do with what you have. What will you do with what you are entitled to? In a time where it seems like we are going to go through a second recession, most people will hold on to their "entitlements". But what would happen to our country if we gave what we could? What would happen if we all did without something that is minor? (Like, give up your fancy coffee for a month. Save that money and donate it somewhere like your local church.) Since I am still adjusting to this "real world" life, I haven't been the most generous with my time or money. My goal for 2012 is to, with every paycheck I get, take 10% and put it aside. I'm unsure if I will put it all towards North Point or give some to Campus House. I still have time to figure that out, but I know that this is something I need to be doing. I am blessed to have the life that I do and I know that I would not be here without God's love. The least I can do is give something back to these two communities that have helped me through some rough times. 

I pray that you will look at where you are and thank God for everything He has given you. I know that if you are reading this, you are blessed. Know that He loves you and is always with you. God works in strange ways some times, but it's always for the good. "You make all things work together for my good."

Until next time, dear readers.

It's been a while.

I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long, and because of that it's my own fault that I have lost the bulletins from previous weeks. So, if I find them I'll blog about the missing weeks. My man and I are planning on cleaning up a little tomorrow so maybe we'll find something then. If we do, I'll update about the missing weeks. Two weeks ago Andy talked about the importance of living in circles instead of rows. In other words, get involved with a small group. At any church-but especially at a church the size of North Point, you need a group of people you can count on-and a group of people who can count on you-to make your church life that much better. It gives you a sense of community, and gets you involved with the church. More on this in a minute, I'll mention my experience at Grouplink briefly.

First of all, let me begin by saying that I don't really want to write about this. But I know that I need to stretch myself spiritually so I can grow in my relationship with God, and since one of the easiest ways for me to do this is through writing, I have to do this entry. Last week we began a new series-one that a few people will have a field day with-called Recovery Road. One thing I like the most about NP is that Andy doesn't shy away from delicate topics that other churches might. He gives a fair warning that the day's message might not be the most comfortable for everyone, but he encourages everyone to stay and listen with open hearts and ears.

One of the main questions/statements from last week was "We look at our faith through a politics filter, not viewing our politics through a filter of our faith. What would happen if we did the reverse?" (Something along those lines.) So, based on this, why do we, as one of the strongest countries in the world, have so many financial problems? Even those who fight against us, invest in our US dollars because they know we are worth something. We have a lifestyle problem, not a cash-flow problem. We see this in our own lives, those of us who are in debt know this quite well. It also seems to be a management problem-look at the major businesses of the 90's that are no longer. It's not that they were necessarily lacking in the funds, their downfall happened because they had a management problem. One thing that Andy said-that I'm sure we can all relate to-is that our financial problems are similar to health problems. We ignore them until they become problems. We begin dieting/exercise regime when we hear from a doctor that we are at risk for, well, pick any health problem that might be able to be fixed/relieved with a change in diet and/or exercise.

Andy also said, "We are reaping what we have sown. Our problems stem from abused prosperity."
Why is this so? Because (this is according to Andy-and I agree with him in this case) we have a(n):
-discipline problem
-entitlement problem
-greed problem
and a
-fail of nerve problem.

These are all fairly self explanatory-but the last one seems a little more challenging. We back down from what we know needs to happen and so it doesn't. I think I heard this is one of my OLS classes at Purdue (woah! I actually learned something from those classes?!): We must do what is right now, and we must do what is right now. To clarify: we must do what is the right thing to do at the moment, and we must do what is correct at this very moment. I hope that makes some sense to you. I hope that you read this and think back to a moment when you had a failure of nerve. I hope that you are able to recognize the next moment when you might have a failure of nerve and are able to take the chance to step forward and beyond that nerve failure.

The road to recovery begins with we-not they. It begins with me-not you. There is so much more I could write on this last week's message, but I don't know how to put some of the things into my own words. If I can figure out a way, I'll update again and link it to here.

But onto my Grouplink experience on Thursday. I loved it. I was nervous going into the evening, but a good nervous-I kept comparing it to first day of school nerves. My man and I got there a few minutes early, but that was okay. We checked in and he went off to the men's side (at NP there are 2 kinds of groups-same gender and married couples groups) so I peeked at him once in a while at the beginning, just to make sure he was talking to people (I could only see him for maybe 10 minutes and he was talking to someone every time I got a peek at him). Any way, I met a fantastic woman shortly after arriving and she lives just around the corner from me! So we're going to be in the same community group, yay. We met up with other women who live in Marietta and there are about 11 of us in our group. We're going to have our first meeting after Labor Day, because our group leader is going to NY for the US Open. We are the youngest in our group, and I admit, I am a little nervous. I am fresh out of college, my neighbor has a 4 yr old stepson and works downtown ATL. The rest of the women have kids who are my age or older-and most of them also have grandkids. I am unsure about my group because of the age difference, but I am going to go into this with an open mind and open heart. Because if I don't, I could miss out on something that could be so beneficial for me. I'll keep you updated. Who knows, maybe by November I'll have a few new readers. :)

Until next time, dear readers.

Agh!

Hey all. Well, for those of you who are still reading... I'm sorry I haven't updated in two weeks. I completely forgot to post last weekend and I was busy buying out Wal-Mart yesterday and then I had to nap after my long day-I know, whoop whooop. Excuse train. I'll update ASAP, with a real entry, I promise. Just not tonight, since it's bedtime.

Also, please continue to pray for those families and friends affected by the tragedy at the Indiana State Fair. I (very) indirectly know someone who lost their life in the crisis.



On a much much happier note, my entire family will be here this weekend (I haven't seen my sister since May/June!) and then my man finally gets here!! (I haven't seen him since I dropped him off at the airport on June 20. I really do not like long distance relationships.) I am so excited for this weekend!! I'll make sure I update Sunday evening after my family is gone, if I can drag myself away from hugging my boyfriend, haha. :)

Until next time, dear readers.

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

I apologize for the late post this week. My parents were here for the weekend and I was busy spending time with them. We had a good time by the pool and at the DCI Southeastern Championship. We went to North Point on Sunday, and my mom loved it. We then spent some more time at the pool and then Dad&I changed my car's headlight and installed a digital thermometer for my A/C. So, overall, a good weekend.

Yesterday we looked at Mark 9:42-48. It was a pretty intense message, and a couple times I could only pray that my parents weren't turned off to NP because of it. Joel started with a reference to the movie 127 Hours. If you haven't seen it, Google it. I'm not sure I could handle explaining the movie, let alone watching it. But one of the quotes he pulled from the movie was "It's just an arm." After all, it is just an arm. You can live with out it. Sure, it will be challenging at first. It's essentially a new way of life, but a necessary step for you to take. Aren't there things you hold tight onto that cause you to stumble? I know there are for me. I do apologize, dear readers, but there are some things the interwebz don't need to know. I trust that there are things about you that you don't wish others to know, and so you understand my position. Maybe it's something that you are doing that is causing you to stumble. Something you look at, something you think about, whatever it is, it's causing you to stumble. 

If you knew years before the problem were to arise, wouldn't you cut whatever it is out of your life? A surprising quote from yesterday morning was "1 in 5 divorces cite Facebook as a cause to the beginning of an affair". If you knew that Facebook would ruin your marriage, wouldn't you deactivate your account? I know I would. No questions about it, I would say goodbye to Facebook. What we do today impacts where we end up tomorrow. I know it seems like a given, but it's still something to think about. Consider it as you go through your day. "If I do this/look at this/buy this, how will it impact my tomorrow?" There may not be an immediate effect on your life, but in time it may begin to affect your life in a way that you wish it wouldn't. 

There is more to this life than this life. Why would you trade anything for your eternity? I do wish that I could go back and change some things that I have done. But I can't. I can only go on with my life, and change what I am doing today and hope that it will have a positive effect on my future life. I pray that I can look back on my life now and say, "Good job, 2011 me. You made some good choices that year." 

I hope that you think about what is causing you to stumble and seriously consider cutting it out of your life. I am making steps towards my own goal, and I hope that you will be able to do the same. If you want to share your story with me, please message me or send me an email. I would be more than happy to listen and help if I can. If you'd rather not, that's okay too. If you would like me to pray for you, please don't hesitate to ask. This is a tough thing to go through (no matter what your stumbling block is) and I hope that you can trust that there is someone for you to talk to if you need to.

I have no idea how I will write next week's blog, we got a "don't bring your small children to next week's service" announcement. It's the last message in this series, and it's about marriage. I attended a service with my man at Connection Pointe, his home church, that was also about marriage. I admit that after that service I was kind of a mess. Luckily for me, he was there to lean on. I'm not sure how I will survive next week-since I have a feeling it will be similar.

Only 2 more Sundays left... Until next time, dear readers.

There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning.

8:51am: I realized something last night/this morning. Yes, I want to be engaged. Yes, I want to marry the man in my life. But you know what? I'm not in a hurry to do so. I love him, and I know that if/when the time is right for us, it will happen. I felt this unspoken pressure from myself, and from my friends, that I needed to be engaged. But I don't. I am happy with where I am in life right now. I do not need to be engaged to be happy. I would, however, really like it if my man could find a job and get his butt moved here so I could give him a big hug. I have also realized a couple things while reading Eat, Pray, Love. I haven't decided if I'm going to blog about them. I think before I do I need to have a talk with my man. (I know I wouldn't appreciate it if I found out something kind of major via the interweb rather than directly from him.) So, no promises dear readers.

7:03pm: Sorry I haven't updated yet today-I have been busy. Went to IKEA after church to pick up the parts to put together my couch... anyway. I got everything and now I'm updating from my new couch! I love it. Enough about this nonsense, onto why you are here.

Today was a celebration-we were able to witness two people get baptized this morning. As I listened to their stories about how they came to accept Jesus Christ as their savior, I thought about my own story. In time-I will share it with you but today is not the day. Anyway, I pray that I will always feel I did this morning when I am able to witness another get baptized. In any case, today we talked about Matthew 5:43-48. This morning, Rodney, the singles director from Buckhead Church, joined us for today's message: "Love your enemies." I immediately thought of the predicament I was in last night/this morning: the fact that IKEA didn't include the necessary hardware to assemble my couch. I was mad at them. So, I suppose this morning: they were my enemies. All right, I'm listening, God. What is it you want me to hear this morning?

What do you pray about? That seems like a silly question, don't you think? Listen to me, don't you pray for the things you want? Yea, okay. That's true. We pray for things our hearts are wrapped up in. Imagine what could happen to our hearts if we begin to pray for our enemies. Our enemies might be government officials, the woman in front of you in the grocery store who has seen one too many episodes of "Extreme Couponing" or that guy in the office, the one-upper, or even someone closer to you, someone that has hurt you. But if praying about something YOU want opens your heart, what will happen if you begin to pray for those who persecute you? Will it continue to open your heart to God?

So if Jesus said, "Love your enemies," who are our neighbors? Who are our enemies? We divide people up into groups. We don't do it consciously, or at least, I don't. I know I put people into groups, whether or not I will talk to them today, or if I want to shut this person out of my life forever.  You know you've made God into your image when He conveniently hates the same people you do. (Rodney said that. It got a lot of laughs-and he said, "You laugh because you know it's true." Yep.) Our enemies are those who you don't want to say hi to, those who you will avoid if they walk down the street towards you. When Rodney was saying those words, my thoughts immediately moved to someone who broke my heart. I haven't spoken to him since May 2010, where we got into a fight. He told me that it would have never worked. I realize now that he's right. If he believed it wouldn't work, it wouldn't have.

Rodney suggested that we pray out loud for our enemies, whether it be the next time you think of them or the next time you see them. "Dear God, please bless this woman..." (Personally, if I were the person someone was praying for, I would be a little weirded out. Mostly because it's not something that you see in a normal day.) So, on my way home from IKEA, I began to pray for him-my enemy, the boy who I thought was "the one". I prayed for his happiness. I prayed for the grace I will need when I see him again, because I'm confident that he will be at alumni band this year, to talk to him. To apologize, and then to thank him. I think he was the one who ignited something in my heart that got me thinking about my faith. He and I went to church together a few times, and after each service he would always ask, "What did you think?" I never had a really good answer for him because I didn't have a relationship with God. I also don't think that the churches we were going to were a good fit for me. I always felt out of place there, that others were looking at me and thinking, "She's new. She doesn't really belong here." At Campus House, Connection Pointe, and now at North Point, I have always belonged. I almost feel like they were there, waiting for me to find them.

So I pray that he is genuinely happy. I pray that he is able to find what he is looking for in his life. Thank you, God, for bringing him into my life when I needed him. And thank you for blessing me with this man who makes me happy beyond all reason. Even as I sit here on my new couch (that he helped me pick out!) and think about him, I can't help but smile. I finally printed out a picture of us for my desk and as I sit here and look at it, I'm getting all teary. I miss him-it's been over a month since I have seen his face and it will be another month until I get to see him again. But, I can begin a countdown of sorts I guess. Only 4 more Sundays until he's planning on being here and then he can come to North Point with me, thank goodness. I love him and can't wait to share this with him.

Until next time, dear readers.

May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you. Psalm 33:22