What now?

One of my coworkers told me today that after this project is over, she is going to work for her family's business. (Yay for her!) I also found out that the project manager and superintendent may know where they are going for the next project... and if I were to go there too I would be at least 9.5 hours from my man's hometown, and roughly 19 hours from where he is now. No. No. I can't move there. I don't know what city it would be in, but it's not like that would make a difference based on the fact it would be 9+ hours from him. No. 

I don't want to keep doing this, I can't. I can't handle the distance any more. Breaking up is not an option. He is the reason I go to work every day. I only go to work because at the end of the day I'm one day closer to seeing him again, and I can take that money and put it into savings for future use, like moving expenses.

On our mini road trip to OK

Ugh. I wish I had a family business to go to... I wish this was easier. I wish we weren't long distance, I can't take it any more. We've only been LD for about 4 months, and I can't take it any more. 3 more months of this project, and then who knows where I'll be. He doesn't even know where he will be... I know I can't stress out too much about this, because it's all in His timing, right?



Recently it's become very clear to me that I have to practice patience. Things will get easier with more patience. Things will make more sense, and I have a feeling they will work out, if I am able to be more patient. So I'm trying. After listening to a recent series from NPCC, I've thought more about where I am. What I am doing, and what I want to be doing. My answer? I have no clue. I have no idea what I "should" be doing or even want to be doing. I guess all I can do right now is pray that God will help me find my way, and keep doing what I'm doing.

With all I am, Lord, I will follow You

I'm going to go a little off my "norm" for posting. Today's update doesn't really follow a sermon. It's actually a combination of the two that I heard today, this morning at Chase Oaks and this evening at North Point. Chase Oaks started a new series this morning about David, titled "Messy Spirituality", and North Point started a series entitled "The Comparison Trap". On that note, I'll start with the fact that I have recently been struggling with something. It appears that a lot of girls in committed, serious, relationships seem to struggle with this as well (some guys, too, from what I gather). It seems as though my friends are all getting engaged or married. Some of them already have families, some multiple kids. So I continue to ask, "Why hasn't it been my turn yet? Why haven't I been able to find that happiness?" (But I have, more on that in a minute.)

My first thought is that I don't deserve that happiness, that some of the choices that I made in the past are detrimental to my present, and future, contentment. I think this because I was happy, but then work made me move away from my happiness. I'm struggling with the issues that come with all long-distance relationship. And let me tell you, you think it might get easier? It doesn't. I applaud those who do this regularly because of their situations, because I am here with you now, and it is not a fun place to be. I had convinced myself that I am destined to be in this state of limbo, not really knowing where I am. This morning during my time at Chase Oaks Jeff (the senior pastor) spoke about David. To sum up this morning's message: That thing that you think is keeping you from doing something great? That thing that you think is detrimental to God choosing you to do His work? It's exactly why He will choose you. God does not look at the things that man looks at, He only looks at the purity of our hearts. Those who are pure of heart will do great things, God will see to that.

Woah. Wait a minute there, Jeff. You mean that I will get to my place of happiness one day? Yea. That's exactly what it means. You mean that I will get to be just like the rest of my friends who are happily engaged/married/parents? Yep.

Well, that's a relief. But I'm still unhappy. I'm unhappy because Friend A is getting married late spring/early summer. Friend B is planning on proposing to his girlfriend this summer/early fall. Friend C is having her first baby this summer. Friend D just bought a house with his fiancee. Why can't I be there too? Why can't I have that kind of happiness? So I sink back down into my original state of unhappiness.

Fast forward to this evening (yes, folks, this all happened in one day. Most of my feelings have been building over the last couple of months, but every once in a while they get more extreme). I sit down to watch North Point, I miss being there at the main campus. I wish I could be, but I can watch on my TV now so I'll tune in every week in the evenings. Opening sequence plays and announces the new series: "The Comparison Trap."

Okay, really? Come on, God. Really?? Fine. I'll watch. I'll listen with an open heart. What is it You want me to hear?

There is no win in comparison. You can look to your left and to your right all you want, but you'll just be more unhappy with where you are. (Next week Andy will discuss the mirror we should be looking in. Who should we be looking at?) We live in the land of -er. We all want to be happy-er, strong-er, skinny-er, rich-er, etc. We are constantly comparing ourselves to others. (I just sat there on my couch, mouth gaping. After a few moments I had to just shake my head. I get it, Lord. Okay? I get it. I'll work on it. I have to start some where/some time. Show me how.)

It seems to me, that on a regular basis, God proves that He has a sense of humor. He puts these struggles into my life, and then He throws something like today at me. Thanks for that. I really appreciate it. (No really, I actually do.)

It's amazing how He does this to me. Have you ever felt that He was playing games with you? Sometimes it's frustrating, at least it is for me, but I know that He has a plan for me and that if I want to see where it's leading me I just need to relax and know that I am in good hands.

So remember these things: God does not look at the things that man looks at. He is only concerned with the purity of your heart. And there is no win in comparison.

Until next time, dear readers.

Romans 5: 6-8

End of the Year Life update

So as the title says, this is going to be a mini life update for me. Chances are you already know this but I'll say it anyway. I am moving to Dallas in January for work. I don't have a place to live yet (+10 stress) (okay, at least not officially. I found a place that looks nice and isn't super expensive, and they have my application and they're just waiting on my deposit and application check which I mailed on Monday.), my man is going to stay here (+5 stress), and I'm going to be working on TWO projects (+7 stress) that I've never had experience with before (+6 stress  +8 stress). Luckily the moving company came today and did the survey of my apartment, so that's one less thing on my plate. Now I just have to prime and spackle the walls... Also, I have found out that I'll be traveling to the job in LA twice a month for about three days at a time. So, 4 plane rides a month. That means about 12 hours on airplanes plus all of the airport time. I'm planning on using that time working on my 52 book challenge. So, as you can imagine, life is a little hectic right now.

I'm going to try and keep updating, but I don't know how often it will be. I've done some research about where I will be living, and I think I may have found a new church to go to. I'm going to try and keep up with North Point still, because I like Andy so much. Chase Oaks seems like it will be okay, I can't give you an honest opinion since I've never been. I'll let you know what I think once I get there. (Unrelated, but I think I'm going to find a zumba class when I get there as well. I think I would like it.) I'm also planning on becoming a Texas resident, so that means new driver's license, new plates, new car insurance, etc. Eep! So much to do in such short time... and I'll probably be regularly working 10-12 hour days.

We found my man a place to live and we're planning on getting all of the rest of his stuff into his new place this weekend, so that will be good. I think. We're struggling-okay, I'm struggling with this idea that we'll be 13+ hours apart. (and twice a month we'll be on opposite sides of the country. boo.) But we'll make it work, I know we will. We made it through the two months during the summer, we can make it through the next 7 or 8. We also know that God has a plan for us, and I'm relying heavily on Him through this transition in my life.

"God makes all things work together for my good." -- Your Love Never Fails by Chris Quilala/Jesus Culture

I am looking forward to this next phase in my life as a "traveler" as I've heard it called at work. I know this won't be a forever thing, but I'm sure looking forward to it for a now kind of thing. I trust in the Lord and prayed about this for three days before I made my decision. I hope that this change will mean good things for me and for my career. Plus, I've never been to Texas. (that one time I was in Houston for less than 24 hours doesn't count. and yes, I did leave the airport.)

Until next time, dear readers. Romans 8:28

Well hi there, December.

Note: I started this entry while I was in Wisconsin, and never posted it. So I'm finishing it up and posting it today.

I'm in Wisconsin for a long weekend so I can be with my family. All you need to know is that my family was able to be together for a long weekend and everyone is better now.  We got to celebrate Thanksgiving and sort of Christmas a little early, which was nice. It was fantastic being able to see everyone this weekend.

Since I'm watching from Wisconsin today, chances are that my notes will be more involved than they normally are, since I'm able to take more in depth notes while Andy is speaking.

Psalm 145:8 reads, "The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love."

This week's message was, generally speaking, about the difference between intervention and prevention. Andy started out with telling us that we would probably tell him that "this a'int much of a sermon". He went on to tell us that "you guys have been ridiculous." He was definitely into his "being a proud papa" thing while he was telling us this. Here's where I get to tell you about how awesome North Point is: we were asked to give $500,000. We gave over $2,000,000.  We were asked to serve 8,000 hours, we served over 15,000. We were asked to give 25 tons of food, and we gave 41 tons. This is only one of many reasons why I love my church.

Andy goes on to explain "Giving 1.0". Giving 1.0 is giving directly to something that will help immediately. (this is partly an American thing, partly a Christian thing.) So, we see someone in need or we are asked to give, and so we give. It's emotional giving. This is what Andy referred to as "Intervention Giving". It's giving to someone in crisis-the giving that I got to brag about, it was Giving 1.0. It's emotional and measurable. We can count how many families we're feeding with the food we have given, or the number of patients that the clinics can see because of our monetary donations.

Question: Do you know long it took North Point to raise 1 million dollars in one day?
Assumed answer: It took a day, right?
Real Answer: No. It's taken us 16 years to be able to give that much.

It took that long because of a different kind of giving: it's "Giving 2.0". Giving 2.0 is giving so we can avoid people getting into the situations we're helping them get out of. It's Prevention Giving. It's neither emotional or measurable. Examples of Preventative Giving:
      I'm going to give a % to a church.
      I'm not doing it because of the flash, or the message of the day. I'm giving because I love this church. I'm giving because I want to continue to help my church.

Andy left us with this "motto" to live by: Give, save, live. Give first, save some, and live on the rest.
Many of us would live better lives if we gave more money away. This is something that I'm trying to learn first-hand, and I plan on being a percentage giver in 2012. I've established myself at work, in my apartment, so I can, and plan on, Giving 2.0.

In case you're interested in giving to North Point, this is mostly for me to remember, I can give online at NPMgive.org.

The church is the hope of the world because Jesus is the hope of the world.

Until next time, dear readers.

Series Recap: The Immeasurable Life

For the past three weeks we have been studying Ephesians 3:14-21 with Joel Thomas, North Point's campus pastor. We specifically focused on Eph 3:20-21. It reads, "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." (NIV)

He started with a question, "Have you ever wanted more?" It doesn't matter what you have wanted more of, but the truth is that you have wanted more of something at some point in your life. You begin to think that if you could just get "there", you wouldn't want anything more. Let's say that "there", is getting a promotion or raise at work. You work hard to show your boss that you deserve the promotion/raise. You work extra hours, take on tasks you normally wouldn't, etc. Eventually you get rewarded for all of your hard work and get that promotion/raise. You're happy and you've finally gotten "there". But after a while, you begin to realize that you still want more. We get stuck in this endless loop of wanting more. When does it end?

What do you measure? Time? Money? The things you measure are the things that are important to you. Do you believe that immeasurably more than you could ever imagine is possible for you? In your family, relationship, career, future, etc.

More is possible because God is able.

He has immeasurably more planned for us. We forget this, and I think that some of us don't believe it. Remember that one time when something amazing happened to you that you never thought would? A job opportunity, a relationship, anything. They are works of God. I know I take Him for granted sometimes, and in light of recent events with my family, I have to remember that all things work together for good.

I know that He has something more planned for you as well. Joel ended the first week with this prayer:

      God, help me to look beyond what I can measure and to believe that, because of you, immeasurably more is possible for me.

The next message in the series was about, "What happens next?"So we know that God has more planned for us. But how do we get there? There is nothing more frustrating than knowing there is more out there and not knowing how to get it. (I am totally in this situation right now, so this message really hit home for me.) 

We looked looked at Eph 3:14-20 this week, and looked more in depth at Eph 3:16: I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being.

So what? So, my dear reader, immeasurably more is possible for you, but not until it happens in you. Confused? I was too at first. Immeasurably more starts within you. It is about a change in your inner self, it is not external change that makes this happen.

Have you ever been loved? By anyone. Your parents, a significant other, a friend. We all have, whether it is expressed or not. Love is life altering. Whether it is present or not, love is the driving force behind most decisions. If someone you love achieves something great, you want to be there for them in celebration. If you get your heart broken, you may not want to leave the house for a few days. 

When the most powerful force, love, is directed at you by the most powerful being, God, you will change. Slowly at first, but when you allow His love to empower you, it will happen more radically. I have experienced this first hand over the past year. I am grateful for His love every day.

Here are two suggestions for you on how you can begin to let His love empower you.

• Pray for the capacity to grasp God's love.
• Pursue intimacy with God, community with insiders, and influence with outsiders.

And onto the last week in the series, which was this last weekend. The most important thing to remember from this last weekend in the series is that it's not about you. 

One of the things that Joel said that explained this best to me was, "When more is about you, immeasurably more seems impossible." The moon doesn't give off any light of it's own. (I'm sure you already knew that.) It reflect's the sun's light. We should be like the moon, not giving off our own light but reflecting God's. 

I forget the man's name that Joel mentioned, but he gave a couple of quotes from a book about how the first Christians changed the world. Some of the examples were:

• The value of human life was raised.
• Sexual immorality was confronted.
• Women received freedom and dignity.
• Christian symbols and expressions permeated the culture.

In a time when the world was enslaving their own children and leaving healthy babies for dead because they were unwanted, Christians began to reflect the light of God. They changed how the known world viewed them.

When you live a life worthy of God's calling, your life outlives you. A friend of mine recently lost a close friend of his. He was a man of God, very involved with his church. I have tried to console my friend, but sometimes I have felt like nothing I have said has helped. After this weekend, I told my friend that he can miss his friend. I would too. I told him that he should keep talking about his friend, keep listening to his music. The legacy he left behind can only be told by those of us left on Earth, and my friend should keep his legacy alive.

To conclude this series recap, ask yourself the following questions:

Are there areas of your life that you are living that aren't worthy of God's calling?

Are there passages in the Bible that you ignore because you don't think they apply to you?

To truly live a live worthy of God's calling and to be empowered by His love, these are things that you might want to consider editing. The Bible was written over 2000 years ago, and it is all still relevant in our lives today, if you can extract the lesson being taught and apply it to your life. You can either jump in, there is no "testing the waters", or miss out. You're either all in or not in at all. There is no "in between" with this.

Until next time, dear readers.

I'm going to try harder.

My man keeps giving me grief for not updating-I gotta admit it's kind of nice to know he actually reads my blog updates and may even like reading them, HA! It seems I haven't been updating nearly as much, I can only blame myself for this lack of updates. So, I'm going to try harder. I can't guarantee it will be every week, but I'll admit part of the problem was the lack of ideas coming to me. Especially since I'm not sure I want this to be a journal where I spew my issues with the world... That's what paper is for. Paper that I can read and then burn/shred/etc. I'll include important goings-on in my world, if I feel the need to.

Like the fact that my small group has met twice outside of Group Link, and tomorrow evening is my turn to share my story. It will be sort of like the update I started a long time ago... but in it's entirety. Well, sort of. I can't possibly tell my entire story in 10-15 minutes, but I can tell the important parts. Especially recent (and not-so-recent-but-still-seem-recent) events. In any case, I'm going to bring pictures from my baptism and the DVD of my lavaliere, both of which are extremely important to me and helps me tell my new friends about my life. (Plus I'll get to show off my man in his tuxedo... :-D)

So, I'll recap the series for you since I cannot go into detail about the last 4 weeks-partly because I cannot remember everything that Andy Stanley has said over the previous weeks. I'll hit the parts I thought were important/stuck out the most to me. To begin, this was a 6 week series titled "Recovery Road", I believe I posted about the first or second week, but haven't since.
Main points:

• Recovery begins with me, not them. It begins with we, not they.
• Recovery begins when moral authority supersedes reelection as the value of choice among our nations leaders.
• Recovery begins with a declaration of dependence.
• Recovery begins when we embrace the fiscal discipline of lending rather than borrowing.
• Recovery begins when we leverage our entitlement for the benefit of those less entitled.

So, to explain a few of the main points I listed: What do all of our elected officials have in common? They were elected. So how can we possibly expect them to change when we are the ones electing them? Which can only mean one thing: we have to reconsider who we are voting for-and why we are voting for them. I won't tell you who to vote for or why to vote for a certain person, that's up to you. Your decisions cannot be made for you-but if you are a Christian, you need to take a serious look at the candidates and allow your faith to help you choose. My man and I actually got into a discussion about this last night, about how I find it kind of ridiculous that we are so concerned with the fact that is . Mostly because of the fact that we're so ashamed/nervous about talking about religion in the public eye. This leads into the declaration of dependence. This isn't a direct quote, but I think I got most of it right, from Andy (this is in part 4, if you want to take a listen to the podcasts): we would rather run the risk of offending God than the 8% of Americans who do not believe in God. And, oh by the way, half of those 8% don't care if we do talk about God. What would happen if the men and women in Congress fell to their knees and declared dependence on God? Can you even imagine what would happen to our country if we accepted and put our trust in God again? If you're lucky enough to have those little green bills in your wallet, take one out. Look at the back of it. See the promise we have made to ourselves, to our country, to others, and most importantly, to our God? "In God We Trust." We readily accept these pieces of paper in our lives, but why can't we accept God? Why is it that talking about God on a national level leaves us uncomfortable? I can't tell you. I'm not sure anyone can answer that question. The finance week hit me in a spot that has been making me think about it since then. I haven't ever had a salary-I mean, yes. I had internships. But I feel like those were part time jobs, getting me ready for the real world (even though I was working full time). So now I have a steady income and I'm so used to being a broke college student, part of me is still spending like I was a broke college student. Which, I suppose is a good thing. I refuse to open a second credit card, and I recently opened a savings account with USAA so I can transfer some of my money every month into it. 

This leads me into the last main point, from today. I am so blessed to have this opportunity for a job upon my college graduation, and I am ecstatic that I am now able to help Campus House out in a way that I couldn't while I was in college. They helped me-and showed me a love that I was unsure of, I don't know how else to thank them. I'm not even sure that it will ever be enough. Money is one of the four things we are entitled to. In list form:

• Time
• Money
• Possessions
• Influence

Jesus doesn't care how you got what you have or how much you have. What matters is what you do with what you have. What will you do with what you are entitled to? In a time where it seems like we are going to go through a second recession, most people will hold on to their "entitlements". But what would happen to our country if we gave what we could? What would happen if we all did without something that is minor? (Like, give up your fancy coffee for a month. Save that money and donate it somewhere like your local church.) Since I am still adjusting to this "real world" life, I haven't been the most generous with my time or money. My goal for 2012 is to, with every paycheck I get, take 10% and put it aside. I'm unsure if I will put it all towards North Point or give some to Campus House. I still have time to figure that out, but I know that this is something I need to be doing. I am blessed to have the life that I do and I know that I would not be here without God's love. The least I can do is give something back to these two communities that have helped me through some rough times. 

I pray that you will look at where you are and thank God for everything He has given you. I know that if you are reading this, you are blessed. Know that He loves you and is always with you. God works in strange ways some times, but it's always for the good. "You make all things work together for my good."

Until next time, dear readers.

It's been a while.

I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long, and because of that it's my own fault that I have lost the bulletins from previous weeks. So, if I find them I'll blog about the missing weeks. My man and I are planning on cleaning up a little tomorrow so maybe we'll find something then. If we do, I'll update about the missing weeks. Two weeks ago Andy talked about the importance of living in circles instead of rows. In other words, get involved with a small group. At any church-but especially at a church the size of North Point, you need a group of people you can count on-and a group of people who can count on you-to make your church life that much better. It gives you a sense of community, and gets you involved with the church. More on this in a minute, I'll mention my experience at Grouplink briefly.

First of all, let me begin by saying that I don't really want to write about this. But I know that I need to stretch myself spiritually so I can grow in my relationship with God, and since one of the easiest ways for me to do this is through writing, I have to do this entry. Last week we began a new series-one that a few people will have a field day with-called Recovery Road. One thing I like the most about NP is that Andy doesn't shy away from delicate topics that other churches might. He gives a fair warning that the day's message might not be the most comfortable for everyone, but he encourages everyone to stay and listen with open hearts and ears.

One of the main questions/statements from last week was "We look at our faith through a politics filter, not viewing our politics through a filter of our faith. What would happen if we did the reverse?" (Something along those lines.) So, based on this, why do we, as one of the strongest countries in the world, have so many financial problems? Even those who fight against us, invest in our US dollars because they know we are worth something. We have a lifestyle problem, not a cash-flow problem. We see this in our own lives, those of us who are in debt know this quite well. It also seems to be a management problem-look at the major businesses of the 90's that are no longer. It's not that they were necessarily lacking in the funds, their downfall happened because they had a management problem. One thing that Andy said-that I'm sure we can all relate to-is that our financial problems are similar to health problems. We ignore them until they become problems. We begin dieting/exercise regime when we hear from a doctor that we are at risk for, well, pick any health problem that might be able to be fixed/relieved with a change in diet and/or exercise.

Andy also said, "We are reaping what we have sown. Our problems stem from abused prosperity."
Why is this so? Because (this is according to Andy-and I agree with him in this case) we have a(n):
-discipline problem
-entitlement problem
-greed problem
and a
-fail of nerve problem.

These are all fairly self explanatory-but the last one seems a little more challenging. We back down from what we know needs to happen and so it doesn't. I think I heard this is one of my OLS classes at Purdue (woah! I actually learned something from those classes?!): We must do what is right now, and we must do what is right now. To clarify: we must do what is the right thing to do at the moment, and we must do what is correct at this very moment. I hope that makes some sense to you. I hope that you read this and think back to a moment when you had a failure of nerve. I hope that you are able to recognize the next moment when you might have a failure of nerve and are able to take the chance to step forward and beyond that nerve failure.

The road to recovery begins with we-not they. It begins with me-not you. There is so much more I could write on this last week's message, but I don't know how to put some of the things into my own words. If I can figure out a way, I'll update again and link it to here.

But onto my Grouplink experience on Thursday. I loved it. I was nervous going into the evening, but a good nervous-I kept comparing it to first day of school nerves. My man and I got there a few minutes early, but that was okay. We checked in and he went off to the men's side (at NP there are 2 kinds of groups-same gender and married couples groups) so I peeked at him once in a while at the beginning, just to make sure he was talking to people (I could only see him for maybe 10 minutes and he was talking to someone every time I got a peek at him). Any way, I met a fantastic woman shortly after arriving and she lives just around the corner from me! So we're going to be in the same community group, yay. We met up with other women who live in Marietta and there are about 11 of us in our group. We're going to have our first meeting after Labor Day, because our group leader is going to NY for the US Open. We are the youngest in our group, and I admit, I am a little nervous. I am fresh out of college, my neighbor has a 4 yr old stepson and works downtown ATL. The rest of the women have kids who are my age or older-and most of them also have grandkids. I am unsure about my group because of the age difference, but I am going to go into this with an open mind and open heart. Because if I don't, I could miss out on something that could be so beneficial for me. I'll keep you updated. Who knows, maybe by November I'll have a few new readers. :)

Until next time, dear readers.

There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning.

8:51am: I realized something last night/this morning. Yes, I want to be engaged. Yes, I want to marry the man in my life. But you know what? I'm not in a hurry to do so. I love him, and I know that if/when the time is right for us, it will happen. I felt this unspoken pressure from myself, and from my friends, that I needed to be engaged. But I don't. I am happy with where I am in life right now. I do not need to be engaged to be happy. I would, however, really like it if my man could find a job and get his butt moved here so I could give him a big hug. I have also realized a couple things while reading Eat, Pray, Love. I haven't decided if I'm going to blog about them. I think before I do I need to have a talk with my man. (I know I wouldn't appreciate it if I found out something kind of major via the interweb rather than directly from him.) So, no promises dear readers.

7:03pm: Sorry I haven't updated yet today-I have been busy. Went to IKEA after church to pick up the parts to put together my couch... anyway. I got everything and now I'm updating from my new couch! I love it. Enough about this nonsense, onto why you are here.

Today was a celebration-we were able to witness two people get baptized this morning. As I listened to their stories about how they came to accept Jesus Christ as their savior, I thought about my own story. In time-I will share it with you but today is not the day. Anyway, I pray that I will always feel I did this morning when I am able to witness another get baptized. In any case, today we talked about Matthew 5:43-48. This morning, Rodney, the singles director from Buckhead Church, joined us for today's message: "Love your enemies." I immediately thought of the predicament I was in last night/this morning: the fact that IKEA didn't include the necessary hardware to assemble my couch. I was mad at them. So, I suppose this morning: they were my enemies. All right, I'm listening, God. What is it you want me to hear this morning?

What do you pray about? That seems like a silly question, don't you think? Listen to me, don't you pray for the things you want? Yea, okay. That's true. We pray for things our hearts are wrapped up in. Imagine what could happen to our hearts if we begin to pray for our enemies. Our enemies might be government officials, the woman in front of you in the grocery store who has seen one too many episodes of "Extreme Couponing" or that guy in the office, the one-upper, or even someone closer to you, someone that has hurt you. But if praying about something YOU want opens your heart, what will happen if you begin to pray for those who persecute you? Will it continue to open your heart to God?

So if Jesus said, "Love your enemies," who are our neighbors? Who are our enemies? We divide people up into groups. We don't do it consciously, or at least, I don't. I know I put people into groups, whether or not I will talk to them today, or if I want to shut this person out of my life forever.  You know you've made God into your image when He conveniently hates the same people you do. (Rodney said that. It got a lot of laughs-and he said, "You laugh because you know it's true." Yep.) Our enemies are those who you don't want to say hi to, those who you will avoid if they walk down the street towards you. When Rodney was saying those words, my thoughts immediately moved to someone who broke my heart. I haven't spoken to him since May 2010, where we got into a fight. He told me that it would have never worked. I realize now that he's right. If he believed it wouldn't work, it wouldn't have.

Rodney suggested that we pray out loud for our enemies, whether it be the next time you think of them or the next time you see them. "Dear God, please bless this woman..." (Personally, if I were the person someone was praying for, I would be a little weirded out. Mostly because it's not something that you see in a normal day.) So, on my way home from IKEA, I began to pray for him-my enemy, the boy who I thought was "the one". I prayed for his happiness. I prayed for the grace I will need when I see him again, because I'm confident that he will be at alumni band this year, to talk to him. To apologize, and then to thank him. I think he was the one who ignited something in my heart that got me thinking about my faith. He and I went to church together a few times, and after each service he would always ask, "What did you think?" I never had a really good answer for him because I didn't have a relationship with God. I also don't think that the churches we were going to were a good fit for me. I always felt out of place there, that others were looking at me and thinking, "She's new. She doesn't really belong here." At Campus House, Connection Pointe, and now at North Point, I have always belonged. I almost feel like they were there, waiting for me to find them.

So I pray that he is genuinely happy. I pray that he is able to find what he is looking for in his life. Thank you, God, for bringing him into my life when I needed him. And thank you for blessing me with this man who makes me happy beyond all reason. Even as I sit here on my new couch (that he helped me pick out!) and think about him, I can't help but smile. I finally printed out a picture of us for my desk and as I sit here and look at it, I'm getting all teary. I miss him-it's been over a month since I have seen his face and it will be another month until I get to see him again. But, I can begin a countdown of sorts I guess. Only 4 more Sundays until he's planning on being here and then he can come to North Point with me, thank goodness. I love him and can't wait to share this with him.

Until next time, dear readers.

May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you. Psalm 33:22

As mentioned previously & then some.

I said in my last update that I feel like an outcast at work. And for the first week + a few days, that was true. No, no one really wants to hang out with me after work, but I have come to accept it (for now) and I'm okay with it. I realized that part of this is due to the fact that I am not sitting in my department-there isn't  an empty desk for me at the moment. Which, to be fair, is a good problem to have. So I'm not complaining, especially now that I am being given more responsibility every day at work. On Friday one of my co-workers asked for my help on a project that will be a long-term effort. And one of the interns has started asking me questions! So, work was hard the first week, but look back on it-and from talking to some people who have been in the work place for at least 6 months-every one's first week is a little challenging.

Last week I made the promise to myself, you, and God, that I would go to North Point today. I went. I need to get there about 10:45 though if I'm going to sit closer to the front. I have most definitely found a MEGA-church. But I absolutely loved it. I can't tell you why, because I can't put into words how being surrounded by so many people who have come together to worship makes me feel. I guess I can compare it to the way a really good piece of music gives me goosebumps. For example, whenever I listen to Jupiter (granted, I am biased since I play French horn) or, even a couple times during some Glee Club performances this past semester. When those guys sing... shivers. Anyway. I was a little disappointed they didn't have a NEXT class today, but they will next week and I have every intention of going. (The NEXT class is for people who are new to NP and want to get involved or learn more about NP)

On a completely different note, I started making myself a bag to take my lunch in to work. I like packing my lunch instead of going out every day, so I figured a bag would be a good idea. I found zebra print material at Jo-Ann's! So I'm making myself a lunch bag and it will be awesome. Don't worry, I'll post pictures of it once I am all finished.

So I'm going to go work on that and play with the cats because they won't leave me alone... Pesky cats!

Until next time, dear reader. Matthew 5:14-16.

Amazing how He works.

I have been struggling with the move to ATL and finding a new church. I thought I had found one in North Point Community Church (NP), but I attended Buckhead Church last weekend and was absolutely overwhelmed with the number of people. The boy was there with me, which helped a lot. Although I say I like change (and I do) it's just hard for me to accept it sometimes.

I started my journey towards God at Purdue Christian Campus House (PCCH or CH), a small intimate church on Purdue's campus. I was baptized there, and I consider it my "home church" still. I promised myself this week that I would attend NP. I know that I need to surround myself with people, especially since I feel like an outcast at work (more on that later). I also know that church is a fantastic place to find new friends, after all, before CH I had very few girlfriends. Now I have a couple that I cannot imagine my life without.

So, because it's hard for me to accept change, I typically will wimp out of a scary situation. In this case, it was attending a new church by myself for the first time. I bargained with myself and said, "Well, I still want to go to church, but I a) don't want to use up the gas it would take to drive the 30 minutes there and b) don't know anyone there so I will be all alone." Instead, I attended in my pjs and watched the sermon online. (They live stream the 11AM service and replay it at 6PM. So, if you're interested in watching today's message, you can at 6! http://northpointonline.tv/)

Today was the conclusion of their series "Amazing Stories". Today they visited the story of Naaman, the commander of the Aram army. For those of you who aren't familiar with the story, here's a brief description: Naaman has leprosy. He is told by one of his servants that there is a prophet in Israel who can cure him. He goes to the king and asks to go, the king agrees and sends a letter with him.

The letter that he took to the king of Israel read: "With this letter I am sending my servant Naaman to you so that you may cure him of his leprosy." -2 Kings 5:6

The king of Israel sends him to Elisha, the prophet his servant spoke of. Naaman expects Elisha to wave his hand over him and be cured, but instead he sends a servant to greet Naaman and his group. The servant tells him to go and bathe in the Jordan seven times and he will be cured. Naaman is angry with Elisha and refuses. 

Naaman's servants went to him and said, "My father, if the prophet had told you to do some great thing, would you not have done it? How much more, then, when he tells you, 'Wash and be cleansed'!" -2 Kings 5:13

Naaman goes and bathes in the Jordan. He is cured and returns to Elisha, grateful for what he has done. One of the things Andy Stanley ended with was saying that if God is putting something on your heart that you know you need to do, even if you have convinced everyone else around you, and you are still not convinced, do it. God doesn't owe us an explanation. There are times in everyone's life when He is pushing something into our hearts that we may not understand. It is during those times we need to follow Him. Even though it may seem like such a simple thing, in my case, actually going to NP, He has something much bigger in store for us. If you don't follow, you will regret it, no matter how small a thing it is. And so, I am making the commitment today to attend NP next Sunday. I know there aren't that many of you who are readers, but I need to be held accountable. I do regret not going today, but today's message has made me realize that I need to go. Even if I am uncomfortable, I have to go. I can attend the "next" session after the service and hopefully meet some other new to town people.

Until next time readers. Thank you for being here for me, even though you are few.

Eeep!

I graduated!! It's official and everything, I have the piece of paper to prove it. I am nervous about what the future holds for me, but I ran across this verse today, which is beginning to help me remember that I have to trust in God and His plan for me. "Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." -Joshua 1:9. 

It's amazing, the things, people, and experiences He has given me. I have begun listening to podcasts from North Point Community Church. I am trying to find a church in ATL and I think, based on the past three weeks, that I have found my future church. It's hard to say how I know this without telling my whole story, which isn't something I want to do on here. But, here's a link to the message in case you're interested. The pastor, Andy Stanley, has been speaking about The New Rules for Love, Sex & Dating for the past three weeks. Part 4 is tomorrow, and I plan on saving the podcasts for my children to listen to when it is time for them to enter into the dating world.

In other news, I'm back in my apartment for the weekend. The boy is in Chicago for the weekend with some buddies from PVGC auditioning for a TV show-and I've probably already said too much. They're supposed to keep it on the d/l. Anywho, he's gone for the day and won't be back until late, so I'm hanging out around my apartment watching the Harry Potter marathon on ABC family. I think I'll start attempting a skirt... I found the fabric&pattern at Jo-Ann's with my sister. I'll post pictures throughout the process. It will be my first skirt, so hopefully it turns out... decently. Haha. :)

Until next time, readers.

Don't forget that tomorrow belongs to God. Once you let go of tomorrow, you will begin to be at peace with yourself.