Be still, and know that I am God.

Laura Campbell, Indy West Great Banquet #22, Table of Martha.

I have to remember that, and I haven't found a sharpie yet to write it on my name tag so I'm putting it here. From now on, whenever I introduce myself to a member of the Great Banquet community, that's how I do it. And then everyone applauds. No, I'm not kidding.

For those of you who aren't familiar with the Great Banquet, it's a 72 hour experience where you are pushed to grow closer in your relationship with Christ. It's not a retreat, it's not a mission, it's an experience. We arrive Thursday evening and leave Sunday evening-yes, friends, that's right. I spent 72 hours "locked" in a church with many other women. Granted, there were other things going on, but we had our own schedule to stick to. Did I mention that they covered the clocks and we weren't allowed to have watches or cell phones? So, no communication with the outside world and no clue on the time. 

I loved every single minute of it. I would love to go into the details about why I loved it so much, but I can't. It's part of the experience, and if anyone were to ever go through it, I wouldn't want to ruin it for you. I admit I was nervous when I went in, but luckily my sponsors-and second family-were there with me. Still didn't ease my nervous-ness. But on Sunday as we were wrapping up-as most sisters in Christ do-we ended with hugs. As I hugged each of my sisters, almost every single one of them told me that they loved my energy. A few asked if they could have some of it, haha. Simply put, I had an amazing time. I made some amazing new friends, and I pray that we will be able to serve together on a future Great Banquet weekend.

Okay, so I picked up a few things from this weekend experience:

Be still and know that I am God.

God does not call the equipped, he equips the called.

If I can make the time to watch my favorite TV show or be on facebook, I can make the time for God in my daily life. And it's become very apparent that I need to.

As much as I don't want to admit it, I cannot be the spiritual leader for my future family. It's not my position. It's my man's job. And the only things I can do to help him is love and encourage. That's it. Everything else is between him and God. (Let me tell you, this one is a struggle for me. But I know that I need this rock in my life, and I know that my future children will need it too.)

I have struggled with prayer in my life since I opened my heart to God. But something that was said this weekend helped ease that struggle a little. "Even when we don't have the right words to say, God knows."

My relationship with God-yes, I have a relationship with the Lord-takes effort. Just like any other relationship. I may not be perfect, but I can count on Him to always be there for me. I can trust Him to always love me, no matter what. There is nothing you can do to make God love you less, and nothing you can do to make Him love you more. His love is everlasting.

I could go on and on about things I learned over the weekend-but I won't. I won't because I don't want to give anything away! One thing I can share with you though, is that I thoroughly believe that coincidences do not exist. I have been in this train of thought since about March or so. This weekend absolutely confirmed it. I know that God brought my man into my life at exactly the right moment. I know that if he and I had met any sooner, I don't think we would be together. I think, as much as I hate to admit it, would have completely ignored him. But that is not the case, so I need not worry about it. I have the perfect man in my life, and most importantly, I have God in my life.

The best thing about having God in my life is knowing that He will always be with me. No matter what.

Until next time, dear readers.

Philippians 4:13

Are you seeing that person?

That person who is there right in front of you that you are missing because you are too important? I know I am guilty of doing this: "Hey, how are you?" And then shortly after saying I had something else to do that was "more important" than talking to that person. What are you missing because you are "too busy" for them? We are constantly trying to prove ourselves-in life, work, relationships, etc. I am quickly approaching my 5 year high school reunion, and if I go, what will I have to show for my life? Several of my friends from high school are married and have families already, others have traveled to different countries to study, live, and/or work. What have I done? Would I impress my friends from high school with my life right now? What can I do to become more important? What must I do to be great?

Wait a minute. I am important. I already am great. This morning one of the younger pastors at NP gave today's sermon (I'm not sure of his name, once I find out I'll post it in here to give him the credit he deserves), the second in the series Shocking Statements of Jesus. Today we looked at Mark 9:35-37. Mark 9:35 reads:

Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all."

Well, you know whatever Jesus is about to say is important, because he sits. In movies, or in some cases, real life, when some one needs to say something that's serious, important, or something that you really need to hear, they always sit and usually invite you to sit too. I think Jesus sat before saying that for that reason: it's something the disciples really needed to hear. Conversations require time AND attention. To make someone feel important, you must give them both. We are all seeking importance in life-so the least we can do is make one another feel important, right? So then why is it so hard for some of us to do this?

There is nothing more devaluing than having a conversation with someone and they keep checking their cell phone. I have experienced this a number of times-and I know I am guilty of it as well. I have made the promise to myself that when I talk to people, I will put the phone away. I won't even simply turn it over on the table, I will put it in my pocket or in my purse and ignore any messages or phone calls I might receive. I ask you, my readers, my friends, to do the same. It doesn't even have to be a conversation you think is "critical" or "important". It could be a lunch date with a friend. They probably won't say anything, in fact, I can probably guarantee they wouldn't, but they'll notice. And if you notice that others are doing it-to you, or to your friends, I can only hope that they will realize what they are doing to the people who they are with.

So ask yourselves this: Am I seeking what is really important? What is most important in my life right now? To me, right now, the most important things in my life are seeking acceptance at work and doing well at my new job. I am also trying to decorate my apartment with this new found freedom that is being a young adult. But is that really important? Yes, my job is important. Being successful in my career is important-we are hard wired to work, to achieve. I feel guilty for having a job when the boy does not. I feel guilty when I complain to him about how I wish I had friends. I am happy with where I am with my life right now-but I know I could be better. So, am I seeking what is truly important in life? What is truly important in life?

Truth is: it changes. We are continually seeking significance and importance in our lives, but it is constantly changing and the "ranking" we are looking for sometimes disappears. We seek higher positions in our careers, more expensive cars, bigger bank accounts, bigger houses-our society seems to be under the impression that "bigger is better". But what about what you already have? Take a look around you. You have a family that loves you, and in most cases, friends who are like family who love you. Those people are important. So, to answer my own question: what is truly important in life? I think for that, we have to ask God. I seek a relationship with Him because of the great things He has given me-a family who loves me, friends who I treat like family, and opportunities to grow-as a Christian, as a woman, and as a young adult.

Back to the passage that we talked about this morning. The ironic part of this passage is that what we are looking for, we already have.

Jesus died on the cross for us because we are worth dying for. We are all significant, no matter where you put yourself in life, work, etc. There is a God in Heaven who gave His life for you. And because of it, you are important. My... honestly, I don't really know what to call him. He has helped guide me in my journey towards Christ, purchased my first Bible for me (that is a fun story that I will have to share with you, in time), became a good friend and, essentially, a second father to me. I am so blessed to have him and his wife (who has also become like a second parent, spiritual mentor, and good friend) in my life. I do not think I would have made the decision to become baptized without their guidance. I had thought about it, but never had the support system to find my relationship with Christ and move towards Him.

In any case, he helped me through some rough times in October/November 2010, and he gave me a book to read entitled "Sex God". In chapter 6, entitled, "Worth Dying For", Rob Bell writes, "You don't need a man by your side to validate you as a woman. You already are loved an valued. You're good enough exactly as you are. Do you believe this? Because it's true. You have limitless worth and value. If you embrace this truth, it will affect every area of life, especially your relationship with men.

You are worth dying for." (pg 123-124) When I first read this chapter, I cried. I have struggled with this since I started dating-and to be honest, I don't think I have been without a boy in my life since then (or if I have I don't remember it). I was seeking what was important: finding a boyfriend and being loved by him. Doing whatever that meant to get him to love me. That led to some stupid mistakes on my part, but since then I have grown immensely as a person, and as a woman. This book helped a lot with that. Knowing that God loves me-that helped a lot too.

God loves you too. Whether or not you are a Christian, God wants to have a relationship with you. He is seeking your love-but you have to seek Him too. But for me, knowing that He loves me is enough. So, you don't have to seek the highest position in your company or a relationship you aren't ready for to be important. You are already important. Jesus died for you because he loves you-no matter what your flaws are.

Until next time,  dear readers.