End of the Year Life update

So as the title says, this is going to be a mini life update for me. Chances are you already know this but I'll say it anyway. I am moving to Dallas in January for work. I don't have a place to live yet (+10 stress) (okay, at least not officially. I found a place that looks nice and isn't super expensive, and they have my application and they're just waiting on my deposit and application check which I mailed on Monday.), my man is going to stay here (+5 stress), and I'm going to be working on TWO projects (+7 stress) that I've never had experience with before (+6 stress  +8 stress). Luckily the moving company came today and did the survey of my apartment, so that's one less thing on my plate. Now I just have to prime and spackle the walls... Also, I have found out that I'll be traveling to the job in LA twice a month for about three days at a time. So, 4 plane rides a month. That means about 12 hours on airplanes plus all of the airport time. I'm planning on using that time working on my 52 book challenge. So, as you can imagine, life is a little hectic right now.

I'm going to try and keep updating, but I don't know how often it will be. I've done some research about where I will be living, and I think I may have found a new church to go to. I'm going to try and keep up with North Point still, because I like Andy so much. Chase Oaks seems like it will be okay, I can't give you an honest opinion since I've never been. I'll let you know what I think once I get there. (Unrelated, but I think I'm going to find a zumba class when I get there as well. I think I would like it.) I'm also planning on becoming a Texas resident, so that means new driver's license, new plates, new car insurance, etc. Eep! So much to do in such short time... and I'll probably be regularly working 10-12 hour days.

We found my man a place to live and we're planning on getting all of the rest of his stuff into his new place this weekend, so that will be good. I think. We're struggling-okay, I'm struggling with this idea that we'll be 13+ hours apart. (and twice a month we'll be on opposite sides of the country. boo.) But we'll make it work, I know we will. We made it through the two months during the summer, we can make it through the next 7 or 8. We also know that God has a plan for us, and I'm relying heavily on Him through this transition in my life.

"God makes all things work together for my good." -- Your Love Never Fails by Chris Quilala/Jesus Culture

I am looking forward to this next phase in my life as a "traveler" as I've heard it called at work. I know this won't be a forever thing, but I'm sure looking forward to it for a now kind of thing. I trust in the Lord and prayed about this for three days before I made my decision. I hope that this change will mean good things for me and for my career. Plus, I've never been to Texas. (that one time I was in Houston for less than 24 hours doesn't count. and yes, I did leave the airport.)

Until next time, dear readers. Romans 8:28

Well hi there, December.

Note: I started this entry while I was in Wisconsin, and never posted it. So I'm finishing it up and posting it today.

I'm in Wisconsin for a long weekend so I can be with my family. All you need to know is that my family was able to be together for a long weekend and everyone is better now.  We got to celebrate Thanksgiving and sort of Christmas a little early, which was nice. It was fantastic being able to see everyone this weekend.

Since I'm watching from Wisconsin today, chances are that my notes will be more involved than they normally are, since I'm able to take more in depth notes while Andy is speaking.

Psalm 145:8 reads, "The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love."

This week's message was, generally speaking, about the difference between intervention and prevention. Andy started out with telling us that we would probably tell him that "this a'int much of a sermon". He went on to tell us that "you guys have been ridiculous." He was definitely into his "being a proud papa" thing while he was telling us this. Here's where I get to tell you about how awesome North Point is: we were asked to give $500,000. We gave over $2,000,000.  We were asked to serve 8,000 hours, we served over 15,000. We were asked to give 25 tons of food, and we gave 41 tons. This is only one of many reasons why I love my church.

Andy goes on to explain "Giving 1.0". Giving 1.0 is giving directly to something that will help immediately. (this is partly an American thing, partly a Christian thing.) So, we see someone in need or we are asked to give, and so we give. It's emotional giving. This is what Andy referred to as "Intervention Giving". It's giving to someone in crisis-the giving that I got to brag about, it was Giving 1.0. It's emotional and measurable. We can count how many families we're feeding with the food we have given, or the number of patients that the clinics can see because of our monetary donations.

Question: Do you know long it took North Point to raise 1 million dollars in one day?
Assumed answer: It took a day, right?
Real Answer: No. It's taken us 16 years to be able to give that much.

It took that long because of a different kind of giving: it's "Giving 2.0". Giving 2.0 is giving so we can avoid people getting into the situations we're helping them get out of. It's Prevention Giving. It's neither emotional or measurable. Examples of Preventative Giving:
      I'm going to give a % to a church.
      I'm not doing it because of the flash, or the message of the day. I'm giving because I love this church. I'm giving because I want to continue to help my church.

Andy left us with this "motto" to live by: Give, save, live. Give first, save some, and live on the rest.
Many of us would live better lives if we gave more money away. This is something that I'm trying to learn first-hand, and I plan on being a percentage giver in 2012. I've established myself at work, in my apartment, so I can, and plan on, Giving 2.0.

In case you're interested in giving to North Point, this is mostly for me to remember, I can give online at NPMgive.org.

The church is the hope of the world because Jesus is the hope of the world.

Until next time, dear readers.

Series Recap: The Immeasurable Life

For the past three weeks we have been studying Ephesians 3:14-21 with Joel Thomas, North Point's campus pastor. We specifically focused on Eph 3:20-21. It reads, "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." (NIV)

He started with a question, "Have you ever wanted more?" It doesn't matter what you have wanted more of, but the truth is that you have wanted more of something at some point in your life. You begin to think that if you could just get "there", you wouldn't want anything more. Let's say that "there", is getting a promotion or raise at work. You work hard to show your boss that you deserve the promotion/raise. You work extra hours, take on tasks you normally wouldn't, etc. Eventually you get rewarded for all of your hard work and get that promotion/raise. You're happy and you've finally gotten "there". But after a while, you begin to realize that you still want more. We get stuck in this endless loop of wanting more. When does it end?

What do you measure? Time? Money? The things you measure are the things that are important to you. Do you believe that immeasurably more than you could ever imagine is possible for you? In your family, relationship, career, future, etc.

More is possible because God is able.

He has immeasurably more planned for us. We forget this, and I think that some of us don't believe it. Remember that one time when something amazing happened to you that you never thought would? A job opportunity, a relationship, anything. They are works of God. I know I take Him for granted sometimes, and in light of recent events with my family, I have to remember that all things work together for good.

I know that He has something more planned for you as well. Joel ended the first week with this prayer:

      God, help me to look beyond what I can measure and to believe that, because of you, immeasurably more is possible for me.

The next message in the series was about, "What happens next?"So we know that God has more planned for us. But how do we get there? There is nothing more frustrating than knowing there is more out there and not knowing how to get it. (I am totally in this situation right now, so this message really hit home for me.) 

We looked looked at Eph 3:14-20 this week, and looked more in depth at Eph 3:16: I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being.

So what? So, my dear reader, immeasurably more is possible for you, but not until it happens in you. Confused? I was too at first. Immeasurably more starts within you. It is about a change in your inner self, it is not external change that makes this happen.

Have you ever been loved? By anyone. Your parents, a significant other, a friend. We all have, whether it is expressed or not. Love is life altering. Whether it is present or not, love is the driving force behind most decisions. If someone you love achieves something great, you want to be there for them in celebration. If you get your heart broken, you may not want to leave the house for a few days. 

When the most powerful force, love, is directed at you by the most powerful being, God, you will change. Slowly at first, but when you allow His love to empower you, it will happen more radically. I have experienced this first hand over the past year. I am grateful for His love every day.

Here are two suggestions for you on how you can begin to let His love empower you.

• Pray for the capacity to grasp God's love.
• Pursue intimacy with God, community with insiders, and influence with outsiders.

And onto the last week in the series, which was this last weekend. The most important thing to remember from this last weekend in the series is that it's not about you. 

One of the things that Joel said that explained this best to me was, "When more is about you, immeasurably more seems impossible." The moon doesn't give off any light of it's own. (I'm sure you already knew that.) It reflect's the sun's light. We should be like the moon, not giving off our own light but reflecting God's. 

I forget the man's name that Joel mentioned, but he gave a couple of quotes from a book about how the first Christians changed the world. Some of the examples were:

• The value of human life was raised.
• Sexual immorality was confronted.
• Women received freedom and dignity.
• Christian symbols and expressions permeated the culture.

In a time when the world was enslaving their own children and leaving healthy babies for dead because they were unwanted, Christians began to reflect the light of God. They changed how the known world viewed them.

When you live a life worthy of God's calling, your life outlives you. A friend of mine recently lost a close friend of his. He was a man of God, very involved with his church. I have tried to console my friend, but sometimes I have felt like nothing I have said has helped. After this weekend, I told my friend that he can miss his friend. I would too. I told him that he should keep talking about his friend, keep listening to his music. The legacy he left behind can only be told by those of us left on Earth, and my friend should keep his legacy alive.

To conclude this series recap, ask yourself the following questions:

Are there areas of your life that you are living that aren't worthy of God's calling?

Are there passages in the Bible that you ignore because you don't think they apply to you?

To truly live a live worthy of God's calling and to be empowered by His love, these are things that you might want to consider editing. The Bible was written over 2000 years ago, and it is all still relevant in our lives today, if you can extract the lesson being taught and apply it to your life. You can either jump in, there is no "testing the waters", or miss out. You're either all in or not in at all. There is no "in between" with this.

Until next time, dear readers.

How did I get here? (part 4)

So I left off with my acceptance to my job in ATL, which is why I am here and have the opportunity to attend North Point. My man, P, agreed that ATL would be the best option for both of us. We made the decision and I accepted the job offer here in about April. I was unsure when I wanted to start working, but I knew I wanted to take some time off between college and "real life". So all of a sudden graduation was upon us. Before I knew it, I was walking across the stage accepting my diploma and my man was smiling at me from the risers where the Glee Club was sitting. It was by far one of the best days of my life so far. 


So that brings me up to about the point where I had to make the move here from school. My man and one of my new best friends from my small group (who also happened to be my neighbor) helped me pack up my apartment and load it all into a Uhaul. My parents made it to school to help me with the last of the cleaning and loading of the truck. My dad drove the Uhaul here and my mom went back home because of the animals. My man and I drove my car and we got into ATL at about 3am. My dad got here with the Uhaul at about 7am (he stopped and took naps along the way) and we unloaded the Uhaul, found my towels, showered and then napped.


So really, that about catches me up to present day. Well, at least until I started regularly (sort of) blogging. Speaking of, I've been thinking. I know I've been trying to update weekly but I'm not sure that's working out for me (especially based on the fact it's been a month since I've posted). So I think what I'm going to do is update monthly, and at the end of series at North Point. Like a monthly life update and then a series update. We'll see how it works. At least that's my plan for now.


Also, two more things for this update. 1) I am addicted to Pinterest. 2) My goal for 2012 is to read 52 books. I've added a book list page, so if you have any recommendations, I would love to hear them from you. I'm open to almost anything. I'd rather avoid lots of biographies, politics, and factual history. One or two would be okay, but they aren't exactly the most interesting books (in my opinion). 


Anyway. Look for more updates from me, once in a while, and eventually crossing off books on my list. Maybe I'll do some book reviews as well. 


Until next time, dear reader. And thanks for sticking with me. I wasn't sure if I was going to update, but a very good friend of me told me the other evening that she missed reading my updates. So she's the reason I updated this evening. So thank you to her for giving me the desire to write again.

Be still, and know that I am God.

Laura Campbell, Indy West Great Banquet #22, Table of Martha.

I have to remember that, and I haven't found a sharpie yet to write it on my name tag so I'm putting it here. From now on, whenever I introduce myself to a member of the Great Banquet community, that's how I do it. And then everyone applauds. No, I'm not kidding.

For those of you who aren't familiar with the Great Banquet, it's a 72 hour experience where you are pushed to grow closer in your relationship with Christ. It's not a retreat, it's not a mission, it's an experience. We arrive Thursday evening and leave Sunday evening-yes, friends, that's right. I spent 72 hours "locked" in a church with many other women. Granted, there were other things going on, but we had our own schedule to stick to. Did I mention that they covered the clocks and we weren't allowed to have watches or cell phones? So, no communication with the outside world and no clue on the time. 

I loved every single minute of it. I would love to go into the details about why I loved it so much, but I can't. It's part of the experience, and if anyone were to ever go through it, I wouldn't want to ruin it for you. I admit I was nervous when I went in, but luckily my sponsors-and second family-were there with me. Still didn't ease my nervous-ness. But on Sunday as we were wrapping up-as most sisters in Christ do-we ended with hugs. As I hugged each of my sisters, almost every single one of them told me that they loved my energy. A few asked if they could have some of it, haha. Simply put, I had an amazing time. I made some amazing new friends, and I pray that we will be able to serve together on a future Great Banquet weekend.

Okay, so I picked up a few things from this weekend experience:

Be still and know that I am God.

God does not call the equipped, he equips the called.

If I can make the time to watch my favorite TV show or be on facebook, I can make the time for God in my daily life. And it's become very apparent that I need to.

As much as I don't want to admit it, I cannot be the spiritual leader for my future family. It's not my position. It's my man's job. And the only things I can do to help him is love and encourage. That's it. Everything else is between him and God. (Let me tell you, this one is a struggle for me. But I know that I need this rock in my life, and I know that my future children will need it too.)

I have struggled with prayer in my life since I opened my heart to God. But something that was said this weekend helped ease that struggle a little. "Even when we don't have the right words to say, God knows."

My relationship with God-yes, I have a relationship with the Lord-takes effort. Just like any other relationship. I may not be perfect, but I can count on Him to always be there for me. I can trust Him to always love me, no matter what. There is nothing you can do to make God love you less, and nothing you can do to make Him love you more. His love is everlasting.

I could go on and on about things I learned over the weekend-but I won't. I won't because I don't want to give anything away! One thing I can share with you though, is that I thoroughly believe that coincidences do not exist. I have been in this train of thought since about March or so. This weekend absolutely confirmed it. I know that God brought my man into my life at exactly the right moment. I know that if he and I had met any sooner, I don't think we would be together. I think, as much as I hate to admit it, would have completely ignored him. But that is not the case, so I need not worry about it. I have the perfect man in my life, and most importantly, I have God in my life.

The best thing about having God in my life is knowing that He will always be with me. No matter what.

Until next time, dear readers.

Philippians 4:13

Happy October!

I apologize for not updating this past week, and now because I won't be able to post on my social networks that I have updated again. This will be very short in comparison to most of my entries since I am updating from my phone. I just wanted to let you all know that I won't be able to give you an update about this week's sermon at North Point. I will listen to the podcast when I get home, and update then. I am currently in Indiana so I can attend the Great Banquet weekend. It starts this evening and I am very excited about it. My friends/mentors/second family is sponsoring my weekend, and I couldn't be more grateful. I honestly have no idea what I have signed up for this weekend, but I expect I will have a good time. I'm also not so sure how much I will be able to tell you about this weekend, as that's part of the Great Banquet experience. I'll tell you what I can and I have brought a journal with me to jot down what I do during the weekend. If you want to know more, please visit iwgb.org. If you do you will get to know just as much as I do, ha! Anyway, I hope you all have a good rest of the week and a wonderful weekend. I will be back on Monday-did I mention I'm not allowed to have my phone? Yikes. Just based on that I know it's going to be something to remember. Until next time, dear readers. Psalm 91:15

How did I get here? (part 3)

Okay, so it wasn't right after dinner on Sunday, I'm sorry. But, it's within the same week, which, for me, seems to be a good thing. Enough with the small talk, I know why you're really here... onto part 3. I may wrap up my story tonight, but I heard that part 2 was a little intimidating in length and I don't want to keep you. Or... lose you... err... Well. I would appreciate it if you kept reading, so I'll (try to) keep it short.

So I left off on December 16, 2010. I had just come home with my first Bible and I was absolutely overwhelmed with emotions. I knew then that my mentors and friends were more than that-they had become more like a second set of parents. "In-state" parents if you will (since my mom was living in Wisconsin and my dad was living out west for work, Mom wanted to stay close so she could go to the football games). It's hard to describe what I was going through. I hadn't ever felt like I could have a relationship with God. I had thought about getting a Bible previously, but never had the courage to do so. I had no idea what to look for, after all. 

The rest of the time I was in my apartment I carried my Bible from room to room with me. It still hadn't really occurred to me that it wasn't going to go anywhere. When I got home for winter break my mom asked me about it and I told her the story. She said that was very sweet of his family to buy it for me-but they didn't have to. I told her that I had told them that, and they insisted-if I would let them. Besides, how could I say no to my new friends, mentors, and in-state parents? My mom and I flew west to be with my dad & sister for the holiday. No harm in checking out the mountains while we were there, right? ;) We spent pretty much all of the daylight hours on a mountain-or several of the peaks that the resorts have to offer. Overall, it was an amazing week to spend with my family.

While out there P and I continued to text each other. At this point, I don't even know who texted who first. All of a sudden I was checking my phone every opportunity I could. At the bottom of the run, at the top of the mountain after the lift ride up, while waiting in line to take a bathroom break, every 5 minutes during our short lunch breaks... My phone and I were pretty much inseparable. From my perspective, it was the same way with P, apart from the whole "mountain" part. He spent the break with his family-which ended up working out to my benefit a little. His dad texted me once in a while to let me in on the goings on. Like when they were watching a movie and P's little sister glared at him because he wasn't actually watching-he was texting me instead. Still makes me smile like crazy when I think about how many text messages we sent to each other over our three week break from school. (His dad eventually ended up informing me of how many texts we sent based on their bill. Lucky for us we both have unlimited texting!)

Over the course of the week I was on vacation, I dropped "subtle" hints that I like coffee and talking, once I realized that I kinda had a crush on this guy. After talking with him about it-it seems like I wasn't so subtle, haha. But I guess that's just how I am sometimes. Silly me. I had also mentioned that I was going to be back at school early because I was going to go to a women's basketball game-I was in the pep band and knew that the holiday games are always rough on the band. So I informed him that I would be back early and would enjoy some company. Eventually he asked me if I was busy after the game and when I said no, he asked if I wanted to hang out. I agreed, and then all of a sudden the butterflies hit me. I had spent very little time with him. Sure, we had sent roughly 4,000 texts to each other over a 3 week span, but we hadn't ever actually had a conversation! What if I didn't really like him? I mean, what if we couldn't have a face-to-face conversation??

Well. My butterflies just escalated on New Year's Eve. By that point the upcoming date with P was less than a week away, and I was still very nervous. My mom and I decided to hang out at home and watch the ball drop from our living room with all the animals instead of doing anything crazy. So I was sitting in the dining room watching a movie on my laptop-with my phone, of course, and at 11:00pm it rang. I panicked. It was him!! Why was he calling me?! He wanted to wish me a happy new year. (He forgot about the time change.) I was still in panic mode so I hardly spoke. (Later I heard from his dad that he said, "She was really quiet." Sorry that I'm not actually quiet, P....) But he made the first move. I called him at midnight central time and wished him a happy new year again. I could tell 2011 would be a fantastic new year-even though it was only a few minutes old. 

Well, the first date was fantastic. We grilled paninis and watched Avatar (the aliens, not the air bender). He drove me home and asked if I was busy the next day. I asked why-he said he wanted to take me to the children's museum and grab lunch with his dad downtown. (I had admitted to have never been to the museum, and Indy's is the biggest.) I immediately agreed and so he dropped me off and kissed me goodnight. Best. Kiss. Ever. (not to brag, but my man's the best, sorry ladies.) So our first date quickly turned into a weekend long event. 

School started and with that, our spring activities. I had also gotten in touch with an amazing person at Campus House before leaving, and when I expressed interest in being baptized she agreed to meet with me on a weekly basis to talk. I also joined a small group with Campus House. I ended up being in her group-and I met some absolutely amazing girls because of it. I know that without these girls in my life I would not have grown so much this past spring. P was quickly wrapped up in his senior design project along with Glee Club-something which I quickly discovered was a very large time sucker. We made it work. We mostly saw each other during homework time. Sometimes we were both so busy we didn't get to see each other until the weekend, or if I stopped by his work in between classes. 

Before I knew it, spring break appeared. I had interviews in three different cities with three different companies. I was very excited-and then he told me before my first interview, "Get a job. I'll find one near you." I was floored. I prayed that God would help me in my decision-if the offers came. They came. All three. I prayed that He would help me pick the one that would be good for both of us. With God's guidance, and input from P, I informed two of the companies that I was grateful for the offer, but I had already accepted a job with another company. 

I fear that I have gone on too long, dear reader. I will give you a break and hopefully catch up to present day, well, at least to graduation, in the next update. I fear that I have left out too many things, so I'll say this: I had so many moments over the beginning of the semester where I could feel God pulling my heart in a certain direction. The moment I voiced my desire to be baptized, I knew it was what He had been waiting for. I know that He had been waiting for me to accept His love, and now that I had, He was excited and wanted to show me that He had always been there for me even though I denied Him for so long.

Until next time, dear reader. 

And if our God is for us, 

then who could ever stop us

and if our God is with us

then what could stand against

"Our God" - Chris Tomlin

How did I get here? (part 2)

I promised you a continuation of my story. So here it is. Bear with me, since I haven't told this story, or thought about it, in a long time. I left off in June 2010, where I had just found out my ex, whom I was still completely in love with, had found someone else. I was struggling to see the light and didn't know if I could handle it. I was invited to the librarian's Lutheran church-but because of my insecurities and anger, I didn't ever go. I do regret not going, but looking at where I was in my life I don't believe I was ready to accept God into my life. I was off the facebook grid-a decision that I do not regret. It gave me a sense of freedom to do what I wished over the summer, I didn't have to keep people updated on my every move.

And now to continue my story from there.

I finished my internship and moved back to school. Back to the apartment that guy helped me move into, back to a place I thought I could be happy. I still wasn't, even though I tried to tell myself I was. During band camp his parents brought popsicles for the whole band one day and his parents hugged me and said they heard I was in Atlanta for the summer and asked me how it went. I wanted to yell and ask them how they could possibly be so nice to me when their son destroyed my heart. I didn't. Inside my stomach felt like lead and my heart shattered again-I loved his family. His parents, his sister, even his brother (who never seemed to like me much). The wounds I had thought were (finally) beginning to heal were ripped open again. I slipped back into a weird funk and let me tell you-this was NOT a good idea. This was, after all, the fall of my super senior year and I had my senior design class to tackle. I let myself wallow for a little and quickly realized I couldn't. I hung out with friends as much as possible, and began to hang out more with the tuba section. I went to a party one weekend at a friend's place, relishing in the fact that I had holed myself up in my apartment all day and didn't leave until 10pm to go to a party. This is where I gloss over some details, but I ended up, on the persuasion of a friend, dancing with a guy who kept looking at me. (I hadn't noticed, but my friend pointed it out.) So we talked and I soon found out he was a freshman-but I thought he was cute. Besides, what's a few years age difference? 

We started dating and spending a lot of time together. I still remember the first time I went over to his apartment. His older brother was there, sitting in their blue recliner, watching Boy Meets World and working on homework. He looked at me like there was something wrong with me, but I let it go and tried not to let it bother me. We continued to be happy and dated, and in October I invited him to my friend's wedding in Ohio. He agreed. When we started dating he had invited me to go to Campus House with him. I said I would think about it but really didn't give it a second thought. I think it was about the middle of September-about the time I invited him to the wedding-that I finally went to Campus House because he was playing in the band for their Thursday night service, TNT. I loved it. It was a little weird at first and he introduced me to a few people after the service. He introduced me to a girl who "made the best coffee", according to him. She was very nice and admitted that she had no idea where the coffee came from, all she did was put it in the coffee maker. Things were good, I was happy. I continued to go to Campus House with him. At the end of October he invited me over for breakfast and told me we had to talk. We usually talked over food, he said it gave him something to do with his hands. He broke up with me. I was so angry at him, and I had just found Campus House. I couldn't believe what was going on and convinced myself that there was something wrong with me. 

But for some reason, I continued to go to Campus House. I sat alone, but it was a little less weird. Plus I had seen some other friends from band a couple times, so I said hi. I eventually started to sit with them. After a few weeks the boy messaged me and we met up to talk again. He realized that he had been an idiot and wanted another chance. I said okay, on the condition that if this happened again, there would be no more chances. He said he understood. So we started seeing each other regularly again, and he finally took me out on a date-dinner and a movie. We went to see Harry Potter 7.1. I enjoyed myself and so did he. For Thanksgiving the marching band went to New York City to march in the Macy's Day Parade. He told me before we left that he wanted to spend time with his friends. And just his friends. I was frustrated, but agreed as long as we could see each other some of the time. The band had dinner at a delicious Italian place and at the end of the meal I got up to use the restroom-and made the mistake of assuming he knew I went to the bathroom. (I left my jacket on my chair.) My table was dismissed back to our bus and promptly left me there. I panicked. I didn't leave the restaurant right away but called his cell phone and it went straight to voicemail-I would later find out his phone was dead. I didn't have anyone else's number who was on my bus and, of course, we were one of the last buses to leave from the restaurant. So I made the decision to try and find my way back to the bus-I must remind you that I was panicked. Well, eventually someone called me and I met up with the bus again. The director on our bus was considerably less than thrilled and blamed me for it. I spoke with him briefly about what happened and he realized it wasn't entirely my fault. I returned to my seat and refused to speak to the boy. I was so mad at him and all he did was apologize. I couldn't believe what happened and the fact that he didn't even tell the bus captain I wasn't there. Oh yea, this just so happened to be our first night in the city... I was not looking forward to the rest of this trip.

It ended up being okay-I spent most of my time with my mellophone friends. (A fantastic idea, we had a lot of fun.) We got back from NYC and promptly went to our senior game against IU. It was a crazy weekend, and my family surprised me with an amazing sign they unfurled during post game-I couldn't play for several songs because I was crying and laughing so hard. (Yes, I still have it.) I managed to get a picture of it from the field. The boy and I had a talk a few days after this and he broke up with me again. I couldn't believe it. I was furious-why hadn't he done this before the trip? I had so many questions. I had class, and was more than ready to not be in the same room as him for a while. I had thought that this could be "the real thing". In December the low brass always has "Tuba Christmas" (tubas and baritones/euphoniums), and PMO always puts on a Christmas show. I invited one of my best friends to go with me, and he said he would. He hadn't ever been and I needed some Christmas cheer. By this point I had gotten my ex's (for sake of clarity, we'll call him J.) older brother's phone number (we'll call him P). After the show I texted him and said it was a great show and that I liked his red scarf. He laughed and told me it was actually a women's scarf from Target, but he was glad I enjoyed the show. I continued to talk to their parents, because they are awesome people. I'm so glad I did. I got into the Christmas mood and made chocolate covered pretzels, Oreos, and made candy-cane reindeer. I gave them to the mellophones and some close friends-and made them a container full of them. (And one reindeer for each of them.) They wanted to stop by before they went to see the Christmas show, because they had a few gifts for me. I was overwhelmed. They gave me tickets to see Monty Python's Spamalot when it came to Purdue in March, on the condition that I took someone who would enjoy it as much as I would. I agreed. 

At this point their dad and I had exchanged a number of emails and facebook messages and I eventually told him something that would change my life for the better. I didn't have my own Bible. He immediately apologized and just assumed I had one. Little did I know what was in store for me. A few days after was Tuba Christmas, an event I had never been to. I met up with a friend and ran into them at the show so we sat together. I had talked to his dad and asked if I could talk to J after the show alone, and he said that was fine because they were planning on going to a movie or something with the girls anyway. So we talked for a while. We established that it really was over and I told him that I thought I had fallen for him. He left and I sat there in Elliott Hall alone and broken. I knew I couldn't stay there all night but I didn't want to go home. I stayed for a while, unmoving, half-hoping he would come back and realize he was wrong. He didn't. I went home and buried myself into studying the two final exams I had. P and I texted back and forth throughout the week, discussing our finals and I wished him luck on a few of them. One day he sent me a message that made me stop in my tracks. He asked me if I was free one afternoon because his parents asked him to help me pick out a Bible. I was shocked and had no idea what to say. (I had been continuing to go to Campus House on my own.) I finally agreed, and we decided that after his finals were over we would meet up and go. This was going to be the first time we spent any time together alone. I was nervous. I went to lunch with a friend and I told her about what was going to happen. She was absolutely thrilled at the idea and was so happy for me that I was beginning to find God. Have I mentioned that I was nervous? 

We drove to Border's and he asked me what I was looking for and I admitted that I had no idea. I felt so out of place, even in a book store. I felt like everyone who walked by knew that I didn't know and that I had a flashing neon sign above my head. I don't think this really needs to be said, but I felt thoroughly awkward the whole time. Now that we talk about it, he had intentions of taking me to Starbucks and talking for a while, about faith and the Bible. He gave me suggestions of where to start reading, and after he checked out, I headed back towards the car. I think the whole thing was a little awkward for the both of us-especially based on the whole... I dated his younger brother thing. He dropped me off at my place and I sank down into my couch and flipped through my new Bible. I fell in love with it. Yea, kind of weird, I know. But I had been curious about this book for so long, and now here it was. My very own copy. I started reading and had to paused every few minutes to let it sink in that this was my Bible.

Okay-I hate to leave you at this point, but it is most definitely dinner time. I promise that I will update with part 3, which will bring you to where I am now, very soon. It may even be after dinner. 

Until next time, dear readers. (Which I promise will be very soon!)

I'm going to try harder.

My man keeps giving me grief for not updating-I gotta admit it's kind of nice to know he actually reads my blog updates and may even like reading them, HA! It seems I haven't been updating nearly as much, I can only blame myself for this lack of updates. So, I'm going to try harder. I can't guarantee it will be every week, but I'll admit part of the problem was the lack of ideas coming to me. Especially since I'm not sure I want this to be a journal where I spew my issues with the world... That's what paper is for. Paper that I can read and then burn/shred/etc. I'll include important goings-on in my world, if I feel the need to.

Like the fact that my small group has met twice outside of Group Link, and tomorrow evening is my turn to share my story. It will be sort of like the update I started a long time ago... but in it's entirety. Well, sort of. I can't possibly tell my entire story in 10-15 minutes, but I can tell the important parts. Especially recent (and not-so-recent-but-still-seem-recent) events. In any case, I'm going to bring pictures from my baptism and the DVD of my lavaliere, both of which are extremely important to me and helps me tell my new friends about my life. (Plus I'll get to show off my man in his tuxedo... :-D)

So, I'll recap the series for you since I cannot go into detail about the last 4 weeks-partly because I cannot remember everything that Andy Stanley has said over the previous weeks. I'll hit the parts I thought were important/stuck out the most to me. To begin, this was a 6 week series titled "Recovery Road", I believe I posted about the first or second week, but haven't since.
Main points:

• Recovery begins with me, not them. It begins with we, not they.
• Recovery begins when moral authority supersedes reelection as the value of choice among our nations leaders.
• Recovery begins with a declaration of dependence.
• Recovery begins when we embrace the fiscal discipline of lending rather than borrowing.
• Recovery begins when we leverage our entitlement for the benefit of those less entitled.

So, to explain a few of the main points I listed: What do all of our elected officials have in common? They were elected. So how can we possibly expect them to change when we are the ones electing them? Which can only mean one thing: we have to reconsider who we are voting for-and why we are voting for them. I won't tell you who to vote for or why to vote for a certain person, that's up to you. Your decisions cannot be made for you-but if you are a Christian, you need to take a serious look at the candidates and allow your faith to help you choose. My man and I actually got into a discussion about this last night, about how I find it kind of ridiculous that we are so concerned with the fact that is . Mostly because of the fact that we're so ashamed/nervous about talking about religion in the public eye. This leads into the declaration of dependence. This isn't a direct quote, but I think I got most of it right, from Andy (this is in part 4, if you want to take a listen to the podcasts): we would rather run the risk of offending God than the 8% of Americans who do not believe in God. And, oh by the way, half of those 8% don't care if we do talk about God. What would happen if the men and women in Congress fell to their knees and declared dependence on God? Can you even imagine what would happen to our country if we accepted and put our trust in God again? If you're lucky enough to have those little green bills in your wallet, take one out. Look at the back of it. See the promise we have made to ourselves, to our country, to others, and most importantly, to our God? "In God We Trust." We readily accept these pieces of paper in our lives, but why can't we accept God? Why is it that talking about God on a national level leaves us uncomfortable? I can't tell you. I'm not sure anyone can answer that question. The finance week hit me in a spot that has been making me think about it since then. I haven't ever had a salary-I mean, yes. I had internships. But I feel like those were part time jobs, getting me ready for the real world (even though I was working full time). So now I have a steady income and I'm so used to being a broke college student, part of me is still spending like I was a broke college student. Which, I suppose is a good thing. I refuse to open a second credit card, and I recently opened a savings account with USAA so I can transfer some of my money every month into it. 

This leads me into the last main point, from today. I am so blessed to have this opportunity for a job upon my college graduation, and I am ecstatic that I am now able to help Campus House out in a way that I couldn't while I was in college. They helped me-and showed me a love that I was unsure of, I don't know how else to thank them. I'm not even sure that it will ever be enough. Money is one of the four things we are entitled to. In list form:

• Time
• Money
• Possessions
• Influence

Jesus doesn't care how you got what you have or how much you have. What matters is what you do with what you have. What will you do with what you are entitled to? In a time where it seems like we are going to go through a second recession, most people will hold on to their "entitlements". But what would happen to our country if we gave what we could? What would happen if we all did without something that is minor? (Like, give up your fancy coffee for a month. Save that money and donate it somewhere like your local church.) Since I am still adjusting to this "real world" life, I haven't been the most generous with my time or money. My goal for 2012 is to, with every paycheck I get, take 10% and put it aside. I'm unsure if I will put it all towards North Point or give some to Campus House. I still have time to figure that out, but I know that this is something I need to be doing. I am blessed to have the life that I do and I know that I would not be here without God's love. The least I can do is give something back to these two communities that have helped me through some rough times. 

I pray that you will look at where you are and thank God for everything He has given you. I know that if you are reading this, you are blessed. Know that He loves you and is always with you. God works in strange ways some times, but it's always for the good. "You make all things work together for my good."

Until next time, dear readers.

It's been a while.

I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long, and because of that it's my own fault that I have lost the bulletins from previous weeks. So, if I find them I'll blog about the missing weeks. My man and I are planning on cleaning up a little tomorrow so maybe we'll find something then. If we do, I'll update about the missing weeks. Two weeks ago Andy talked about the importance of living in circles instead of rows. In other words, get involved with a small group. At any church-but especially at a church the size of North Point, you need a group of people you can count on-and a group of people who can count on you-to make your church life that much better. It gives you a sense of community, and gets you involved with the church. More on this in a minute, I'll mention my experience at Grouplink briefly.

First of all, let me begin by saying that I don't really want to write about this. But I know that I need to stretch myself spiritually so I can grow in my relationship with God, and since one of the easiest ways for me to do this is through writing, I have to do this entry. Last week we began a new series-one that a few people will have a field day with-called Recovery Road. One thing I like the most about NP is that Andy doesn't shy away from delicate topics that other churches might. He gives a fair warning that the day's message might not be the most comfortable for everyone, but he encourages everyone to stay and listen with open hearts and ears.

One of the main questions/statements from last week was "We look at our faith through a politics filter, not viewing our politics through a filter of our faith. What would happen if we did the reverse?" (Something along those lines.) So, based on this, why do we, as one of the strongest countries in the world, have so many financial problems? Even those who fight against us, invest in our US dollars because they know we are worth something. We have a lifestyle problem, not a cash-flow problem. We see this in our own lives, those of us who are in debt know this quite well. It also seems to be a management problem-look at the major businesses of the 90's that are no longer. It's not that they were necessarily lacking in the funds, their downfall happened because they had a management problem. One thing that Andy said-that I'm sure we can all relate to-is that our financial problems are similar to health problems. We ignore them until they become problems. We begin dieting/exercise regime when we hear from a doctor that we are at risk for, well, pick any health problem that might be able to be fixed/relieved with a change in diet and/or exercise.

Andy also said, "We are reaping what we have sown. Our problems stem from abused prosperity."
Why is this so? Because (this is according to Andy-and I agree with him in this case) we have a(n):
-discipline problem
-entitlement problem
-greed problem
and a
-fail of nerve problem.

These are all fairly self explanatory-but the last one seems a little more challenging. We back down from what we know needs to happen and so it doesn't. I think I heard this is one of my OLS classes at Purdue (woah! I actually learned something from those classes?!): We must do what is right now, and we must do what is right now. To clarify: we must do what is the right thing to do at the moment, and we must do what is correct at this very moment. I hope that makes some sense to you. I hope that you read this and think back to a moment when you had a failure of nerve. I hope that you are able to recognize the next moment when you might have a failure of nerve and are able to take the chance to step forward and beyond that nerve failure.

The road to recovery begins with we-not they. It begins with me-not you. There is so much more I could write on this last week's message, but I don't know how to put some of the things into my own words. If I can figure out a way, I'll update again and link it to here.

But onto my Grouplink experience on Thursday. I loved it. I was nervous going into the evening, but a good nervous-I kept comparing it to first day of school nerves. My man and I got there a few minutes early, but that was okay. We checked in and he went off to the men's side (at NP there are 2 kinds of groups-same gender and married couples groups) so I peeked at him once in a while at the beginning, just to make sure he was talking to people (I could only see him for maybe 10 minutes and he was talking to someone every time I got a peek at him). Any way, I met a fantastic woman shortly after arriving and she lives just around the corner from me! So we're going to be in the same community group, yay. We met up with other women who live in Marietta and there are about 11 of us in our group. We're going to have our first meeting after Labor Day, because our group leader is going to NY for the US Open. We are the youngest in our group, and I admit, I am a little nervous. I am fresh out of college, my neighbor has a 4 yr old stepson and works downtown ATL. The rest of the women have kids who are my age or older-and most of them also have grandkids. I am unsure about my group because of the age difference, but I am going to go into this with an open mind and open heart. Because if I don't, I could miss out on something that could be so beneficial for me. I'll keep you updated. Who knows, maybe by November I'll have a few new readers. :)

Until next time, dear readers.

Agh!

Hey all. Well, for those of you who are still reading... I'm sorry I haven't updated in two weeks. I completely forgot to post last weekend and I was busy buying out Wal-Mart yesterday and then I had to nap after my long day-I know, whoop whooop. Excuse train. I'll update ASAP, with a real entry, I promise. Just not tonight, since it's bedtime.

Also, please continue to pray for those families and friends affected by the tragedy at the Indiana State Fair. I (very) indirectly know someone who lost their life in the crisis.



On a much much happier note, my entire family will be here this weekend (I haven't seen my sister since May/June!) and then my man finally gets here!! (I haven't seen him since I dropped him off at the airport on June 20. I really do not like long distance relationships.) I am so excited for this weekend!! I'll make sure I update Sunday evening after my family is gone, if I can drag myself away from hugging my boyfriend, haha. :)

Until next time, dear readers.

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

I apologize for the late post this week. My parents were here for the weekend and I was busy spending time with them. We had a good time by the pool and at the DCI Southeastern Championship. We went to North Point on Sunday, and my mom loved it. We then spent some more time at the pool and then Dad&I changed my car's headlight and installed a digital thermometer for my A/C. So, overall, a good weekend.

Yesterday we looked at Mark 9:42-48. It was a pretty intense message, and a couple times I could only pray that my parents weren't turned off to NP because of it. Joel started with a reference to the movie 127 Hours. If you haven't seen it, Google it. I'm not sure I could handle explaining the movie, let alone watching it. But one of the quotes he pulled from the movie was "It's just an arm." After all, it is just an arm. You can live with out it. Sure, it will be challenging at first. It's essentially a new way of life, but a necessary step for you to take. Aren't there things you hold tight onto that cause you to stumble? I know there are for me. I do apologize, dear readers, but there are some things the interwebz don't need to know. I trust that there are things about you that you don't wish others to know, and so you understand my position. Maybe it's something that you are doing that is causing you to stumble. Something you look at, something you think about, whatever it is, it's causing you to stumble. 

If you knew years before the problem were to arise, wouldn't you cut whatever it is out of your life? A surprising quote from yesterday morning was "1 in 5 divorces cite Facebook as a cause to the beginning of an affair". If you knew that Facebook would ruin your marriage, wouldn't you deactivate your account? I know I would. No questions about it, I would say goodbye to Facebook. What we do today impacts where we end up tomorrow. I know it seems like a given, but it's still something to think about. Consider it as you go through your day. "If I do this/look at this/buy this, how will it impact my tomorrow?" There may not be an immediate effect on your life, but in time it may begin to affect your life in a way that you wish it wouldn't. 

There is more to this life than this life. Why would you trade anything for your eternity? I do wish that I could go back and change some things that I have done. But I can't. I can only go on with my life, and change what I am doing today and hope that it will have a positive effect on my future life. I pray that I can look back on my life now and say, "Good job, 2011 me. You made some good choices that year." 

I hope that you think about what is causing you to stumble and seriously consider cutting it out of your life. I am making steps towards my own goal, and I hope that you will be able to do the same. If you want to share your story with me, please message me or send me an email. I would be more than happy to listen and help if I can. If you'd rather not, that's okay too. If you would like me to pray for you, please don't hesitate to ask. This is a tough thing to go through (no matter what your stumbling block is) and I hope that you can trust that there is someone for you to talk to if you need to.

I have no idea how I will write next week's blog, we got a "don't bring your small children to next week's service" announcement. It's the last message in this series, and it's about marriage. I attended a service with my man at Connection Pointe, his home church, that was also about marriage. I admit that after that service I was kind of a mess. Luckily for me, he was there to lean on. I'm not sure how I will survive next week-since I have a feeling it will be similar.

Only 2 more Sundays left... Until next time, dear readers.

How did I get here? I'm not who I once was. (part 1)

To start, the subject is a few lines from a song that has really spoken to me over the past month or so since I have moved to ATL. It's called "You Are More" by Tenth Avenue North. "You are more than the sum of your past mistakes." That has been a hard concept for me to accept, especially because of some of the mistakes I made in my past. But I'm writing this post to tell you how I got to where I am now. Emotionally, spiritually, heck, even why I moved to Atlanta.

So, how did I get here? Where is "here" exactly? Well, I suppose I need to take you back about two years, when all of this sort of began.

In March 2009 my mom had a stroke. It was hard on all the whole family. My boyfriend at the time was very supportive and caring-he was everything I could have hoped for. It was this even that really turned my world upside down and I started praying-really praying-for my mom's health. I had never seen my dad the way he was while we were visiting my mom in the ICU, and it scared me. Seeing my mom in the ICU was terrifying. But I felt like someone was out there, and so I knew everything would be okay. I knew she had awesome doctors and all I could do was pray that she would get better. So when I asked him if I could go to church with him, he agreed. We went to several different churches around Purdue, all Lutheran, since I didn't grow up in a religious household, and he did. I remember after one particular service-I have no idea what the message was-but the couple sitting in front of us introduced themselves. They noticed we were new and invited us to various events if we were interested (the guys played basketball one evening a week and the ladies met for-I'm not joking-sewing circles). We thanked them for the invitations but we were trying to find a church that suited both of us, and we were still undecided.

After we got in the car he asked me, "So what did you think?" I had no idea how to respond to him. So I said the default answer, "It was good." I didn't know what it was, but there was something about that service that just didn't click with me. We went to a few more services at different churches after that, but I never felt like I belonged there. Not just because we went to different churches, but because I felt like people could see this neon sign above me that announced I had no idea what I was doing and that I was new at this whole church-going thing. Eventually we stopped going. I think it was a combination of the fact I felt awkward at them and school got busy and, yea. I made excuses not to go. And then the school year ended, and I moved back to Wisconsin for my 2nd internship with the company my dad works for. I didn't think twice about going back to church once I moved back home.

I took a class over the summer and moved into my first apartment. Yea, I took a few weeks off during my internship to take this class. They were okay with it when I told them when they offered me an internship, and I needed the class. School started up again in August and everything was well. Mom was getting better and my boyfriend and I were happy. The fall semester came and went, and soon I was going home again for winter break. I took a train to Chicago for New Year's Eve to meet up with my boyfriend and a couple friends and he surprised me at the train station. It was freezing cold, but we had a good time. I went back home and then drove back to school for the spring semester. Spring semester started off pretty good, and then February happened. Right before Superbowl weekend he messaged me on facebook and said, "Can I come over? I need to talk to you." I said yes without hesitation and he showed up soon after and I hugged him, and knew immediately that something was wrong. He then told me it was over. He couldn't give me a reason why, but he was kind enough to stay for about 2 hours while I tried to comprehend what had just happened. He left about midnight and I immediately called my best friend and couldn't really formulate any sentences, but she showed up and sat with me for another hour. She went home and I eventually passed out because I was so exhausted.

I thought that maybe I could convince him to come back to me. I also thought that if I prayed, he would realize his mistake and come back. So I started praying. I couldn't accept that he had dumped me. Two weeks passed, and I was still extremely upset. My best friend told me that I needed to "get over it", and after that we basically stopped talking. I sunk down to a place that I hadn't been in years, and I still don't really know how my grades survived that semester. I got a B in a class that I should have easily gotten an A in because I flat out forgot to do an assignment. He told me he valued my friendship, so I continued to talk to him. I admit now that, at the time, that wasn't the best idea for my emotional well being. When I got the call before spring break for an internship offer in ATL, I immediately accepted. I hoped that maybe leaving Indiana behind would help me heal.

So the semester ended. I was completely broken, and didn't know how to fix myself. On the outside, I seemed okay. I had no choice. I was moving in with two other girls who had boyfriends and were happy. How could I live with them all summer if I let my emotions get the better of me? In June I saw on facebook that he was in a relationship with someone else. I completely broke down-but again, kept it to myself. I went out with my roommates, hoping it would help. (They had no idea.) It didn't. When I got back I deactivated my facebook account for the summer. I got a library card for the summer, and during my first visit the librarian asked me, "Are you Lutheran?" (I mentioned I was new to the area, and I guess because of my complexion she thought I might be. Still don't really understand that one...) She invited me to her church and gave me directions. She was very nice. I seriously considered about going, but I chickened out. I still wasn't sure where I sat with my faith, or with what I believed.

I'll end this post here, and keep your eyes open for another part. I'm not sure how many parts this will take, so bear with me dear readers. Also, if you're a praying sort of person, please pray for my second family. I won't go into details as they're not mine to share. If you're not a praying person, please keep them in your thoughts.

Until next time, dear readers. And thanks for reading, you truly inspire me to keep writing.

There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning.

8:51am: I realized something last night/this morning. Yes, I want to be engaged. Yes, I want to marry the man in my life. But you know what? I'm not in a hurry to do so. I love him, and I know that if/when the time is right for us, it will happen. I felt this unspoken pressure from myself, and from my friends, that I needed to be engaged. But I don't. I am happy with where I am in life right now. I do not need to be engaged to be happy. I would, however, really like it if my man could find a job and get his butt moved here so I could give him a big hug. I have also realized a couple things while reading Eat, Pray, Love. I haven't decided if I'm going to blog about them. I think before I do I need to have a talk with my man. (I know I wouldn't appreciate it if I found out something kind of major via the interweb rather than directly from him.) So, no promises dear readers.

7:03pm: Sorry I haven't updated yet today-I have been busy. Went to IKEA after church to pick up the parts to put together my couch... anyway. I got everything and now I'm updating from my new couch! I love it. Enough about this nonsense, onto why you are here.

Today was a celebration-we were able to witness two people get baptized this morning. As I listened to their stories about how they came to accept Jesus Christ as their savior, I thought about my own story. In time-I will share it with you but today is not the day. Anyway, I pray that I will always feel I did this morning when I am able to witness another get baptized. In any case, today we talked about Matthew 5:43-48. This morning, Rodney, the singles director from Buckhead Church, joined us for today's message: "Love your enemies." I immediately thought of the predicament I was in last night/this morning: the fact that IKEA didn't include the necessary hardware to assemble my couch. I was mad at them. So, I suppose this morning: they were my enemies. All right, I'm listening, God. What is it you want me to hear this morning?

What do you pray about? That seems like a silly question, don't you think? Listen to me, don't you pray for the things you want? Yea, okay. That's true. We pray for things our hearts are wrapped up in. Imagine what could happen to our hearts if we begin to pray for our enemies. Our enemies might be government officials, the woman in front of you in the grocery store who has seen one too many episodes of "Extreme Couponing" or that guy in the office, the one-upper, or even someone closer to you, someone that has hurt you. But if praying about something YOU want opens your heart, what will happen if you begin to pray for those who persecute you? Will it continue to open your heart to God?

So if Jesus said, "Love your enemies," who are our neighbors? Who are our enemies? We divide people up into groups. We don't do it consciously, or at least, I don't. I know I put people into groups, whether or not I will talk to them today, or if I want to shut this person out of my life forever.  You know you've made God into your image when He conveniently hates the same people you do. (Rodney said that. It got a lot of laughs-and he said, "You laugh because you know it's true." Yep.) Our enemies are those who you don't want to say hi to, those who you will avoid if they walk down the street towards you. When Rodney was saying those words, my thoughts immediately moved to someone who broke my heart. I haven't spoken to him since May 2010, where we got into a fight. He told me that it would have never worked. I realize now that he's right. If he believed it wouldn't work, it wouldn't have.

Rodney suggested that we pray out loud for our enemies, whether it be the next time you think of them or the next time you see them. "Dear God, please bless this woman..." (Personally, if I were the person someone was praying for, I would be a little weirded out. Mostly because it's not something that you see in a normal day.) So, on my way home from IKEA, I began to pray for him-my enemy, the boy who I thought was "the one". I prayed for his happiness. I prayed for the grace I will need when I see him again, because I'm confident that he will be at alumni band this year, to talk to him. To apologize, and then to thank him. I think he was the one who ignited something in my heart that got me thinking about my faith. He and I went to church together a few times, and after each service he would always ask, "What did you think?" I never had a really good answer for him because I didn't have a relationship with God. I also don't think that the churches we were going to were a good fit for me. I always felt out of place there, that others were looking at me and thinking, "She's new. She doesn't really belong here." At Campus House, Connection Pointe, and now at North Point, I have always belonged. I almost feel like they were there, waiting for me to find them.

So I pray that he is genuinely happy. I pray that he is able to find what he is looking for in his life. Thank you, God, for bringing him into my life when I needed him. And thank you for blessing me with this man who makes me happy beyond all reason. Even as I sit here on my new couch (that he helped me pick out!) and think about him, I can't help but smile. I finally printed out a picture of us for my desk and as I sit here and look at it, I'm getting all teary. I miss him-it's been over a month since I have seen his face and it will be another month until I get to see him again. But, I can begin a countdown of sorts I guess. Only 4 more Sundays until he's planning on being here and then he can come to North Point with me, thank goodness. I love him and can't wait to share this with him.

Until next time, dear readers.

May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you. Psalm 33:22

Are you seeing that person?

That person who is there right in front of you that you are missing because you are too important? I know I am guilty of doing this: "Hey, how are you?" And then shortly after saying I had something else to do that was "more important" than talking to that person. What are you missing because you are "too busy" for them? We are constantly trying to prove ourselves-in life, work, relationships, etc. I am quickly approaching my 5 year high school reunion, and if I go, what will I have to show for my life? Several of my friends from high school are married and have families already, others have traveled to different countries to study, live, and/or work. What have I done? Would I impress my friends from high school with my life right now? What can I do to become more important? What must I do to be great?

Wait a minute. I am important. I already am great. This morning one of the younger pastors at NP gave today's sermon (I'm not sure of his name, once I find out I'll post it in here to give him the credit he deserves), the second in the series Shocking Statements of Jesus. Today we looked at Mark 9:35-37. Mark 9:35 reads:

Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all."

Well, you know whatever Jesus is about to say is important, because he sits. In movies, or in some cases, real life, when some one needs to say something that's serious, important, or something that you really need to hear, they always sit and usually invite you to sit too. I think Jesus sat before saying that for that reason: it's something the disciples really needed to hear. Conversations require time AND attention. To make someone feel important, you must give them both. We are all seeking importance in life-so the least we can do is make one another feel important, right? So then why is it so hard for some of us to do this?

There is nothing more devaluing than having a conversation with someone and they keep checking their cell phone. I have experienced this a number of times-and I know I am guilty of it as well. I have made the promise to myself that when I talk to people, I will put the phone away. I won't even simply turn it over on the table, I will put it in my pocket or in my purse and ignore any messages or phone calls I might receive. I ask you, my readers, my friends, to do the same. It doesn't even have to be a conversation you think is "critical" or "important". It could be a lunch date with a friend. They probably won't say anything, in fact, I can probably guarantee they wouldn't, but they'll notice. And if you notice that others are doing it-to you, or to your friends, I can only hope that they will realize what they are doing to the people who they are with.

So ask yourselves this: Am I seeking what is really important? What is most important in my life right now? To me, right now, the most important things in my life are seeking acceptance at work and doing well at my new job. I am also trying to decorate my apartment with this new found freedom that is being a young adult. But is that really important? Yes, my job is important. Being successful in my career is important-we are hard wired to work, to achieve. I feel guilty for having a job when the boy does not. I feel guilty when I complain to him about how I wish I had friends. I am happy with where I am with my life right now-but I know I could be better. So, am I seeking what is truly important in life? What is truly important in life?

Truth is: it changes. We are continually seeking significance and importance in our lives, but it is constantly changing and the "ranking" we are looking for sometimes disappears. We seek higher positions in our careers, more expensive cars, bigger bank accounts, bigger houses-our society seems to be under the impression that "bigger is better". But what about what you already have? Take a look around you. You have a family that loves you, and in most cases, friends who are like family who love you. Those people are important. So, to answer my own question: what is truly important in life? I think for that, we have to ask God. I seek a relationship with Him because of the great things He has given me-a family who loves me, friends who I treat like family, and opportunities to grow-as a Christian, as a woman, and as a young adult.

Back to the passage that we talked about this morning. The ironic part of this passage is that what we are looking for, we already have.

Jesus died on the cross for us because we are worth dying for. We are all significant, no matter where you put yourself in life, work, etc. There is a God in Heaven who gave His life for you. And because of it, you are important. My... honestly, I don't really know what to call him. He has helped guide me in my journey towards Christ, purchased my first Bible for me (that is a fun story that I will have to share with you, in time), became a good friend and, essentially, a second father to me. I am so blessed to have him and his wife (who has also become like a second parent, spiritual mentor, and good friend) in my life. I do not think I would have made the decision to become baptized without their guidance. I had thought about it, but never had the support system to find my relationship with Christ and move towards Him.

In any case, he helped me through some rough times in October/November 2010, and he gave me a book to read entitled "Sex God". In chapter 6, entitled, "Worth Dying For", Rob Bell writes, "You don't need a man by your side to validate you as a woman. You already are loved an valued. You're good enough exactly as you are. Do you believe this? Because it's true. You have limitless worth and value. If you embrace this truth, it will affect every area of life, especially your relationship with men.

You are worth dying for." (pg 123-124) When I first read this chapter, I cried. I have struggled with this since I started dating-and to be honest, I don't think I have been without a boy in my life since then (or if I have I don't remember it). I was seeking what was important: finding a boyfriend and being loved by him. Doing whatever that meant to get him to love me. That led to some stupid mistakes on my part, but since then I have grown immensely as a person, and as a woman. This book helped a lot with that. Knowing that God loves me-that helped a lot too.

God loves you too. Whether or not you are a Christian, God wants to have a relationship with you. He is seeking your love-but you have to seek Him too. But for me, knowing that He loves me is enough. So, you don't have to seek the highest position in your company or a relationship you aren't ready for to be important. You are already important. Jesus died for you because he loves you-no matter what your flaws are.

Until next time,  dear readers.

To say "yes" to something is to say "no" to another.

Today was my second time at NP and it was still intimidating. Both times I have gone I can't help but wish that the boy was there next to me. Sometimes it's hard, but I know soon enough he will be here with me and I won't be forced to struggle with this long distance thing. This may seem unrelated to you, but I stopped believing in coincidences around April/May. Today Andy started a new series, Shocking Statements of Jesus. He talked about how Jesus said things that made everyone uncomfortable, like "Love your enemies, pray for your enemies."

The passage he looked at today was John 6:54-68. A brief introduction: Jesus had just fed thousands of people, a feat that was nearly impossible at that time. He had a crowd of people following him, because hey, he had food. Who ever thought of the idea of giving out free food at call-outs for groups/clubs at college must have been a Christian and read this. I mean, if you want people to follow you, feed them. If you keep feeding them, they'll keep following you. But then you say something like "love your enemies" and people will start to think, "Woah. Wait a minute-what's this guy talking about?" and then they start to question if it's beneficial for them to keep following you around and believing what you say. This is what happened to to Jesus right about then. Following him was about to get complicated for the crowd.

Right about when the crowd was deserting Jesus, his 12 disciples started questioning as well. He knew what was on their hearts and so he asked, "You do not want to leave too, do you?" (John 6:67) Peter was the only to respond in verse 68: "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life."

If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, and you are struggling with transition, trial, or temptation, you might want to think if you just stop believing, it will be easier. But if you say no to Jesus, who are you saying yes to? You can't say no without saying yes to something else and the reverse is also true. If you say yes to one thing, you will be saying no to another.

This is where the "coincidences don't exist" idea plays a part for me. I am going through a transition right now: I have just moved to Atlanta, I have a career and my boyfriend is still living in Indiana. I am no longer a college student. I have been struggling with being new in the area and not really knowing anyone. At first I started to turn away from Him, because it was hard. It was hard to accept this change and I was unsure if it was the right choice for me. I could have gone to Jacksonville, FL or Houston, TX. What if those had been better choices? What if I should have gone there instead? What if, what if, what if. Only God knows that answer. Andy left us with this to think about, "Don't focus exclusively on your questions. Consider the options."

So I can't help but rethink my decision to be here in Atlanta, and I have come to this conclusion: I need to be here. I am supposed to be here. If I wasn't supposed to be here, I wouldn't be. I trust God to guide me to where He wants me to be and know that He only gives good gifts. I cannot live my life wondering "what could have been" otherwise I will not be able to move forward with my life and if that means I have to put my trust in God-well. That's not exactly a problem. The same goes for my relationship with the boy. I trust that God has a plan for the two of us and I pray that He will remain in the center of our relationship. The boy is truly amazing, and I see Christ in him. I thank God every day for bringing him into my life and I know that if we had met three years ago, I don't think I would have given him a second thought.

On a completely different note, I have bookshelves from IKEA! I set them up yesterday and I am starting to fill them with books and things. Unfortunately I am going to have to go back tomorrow or Tuesday if I want to buy the couch I have found that I really like... So, I guess I'm going back, haha. And then maybe I'll actually be "living" in my apartment finally. Well, I feel like I live here but it's a little challenging when I have to sit on the floor in my living room because the cats have taken over the two chairs that are in my living room (my teal butterfly chair and a camping chair). I think I'll end up putting the butterfly chair in the 2nd bedroom with my bookshelves and create kind of a reading nook. And maybe I'll start decorating my bedroom as well... There is nothing on the walls right now. Now I just need to figure out what I want on the walls. Any suggestions?

Until next time, dear readers.

As mentioned previously & then some.

I said in my last update that I feel like an outcast at work. And for the first week + a few days, that was true. No, no one really wants to hang out with me after work, but I have come to accept it (for now) and I'm okay with it. I realized that part of this is due to the fact that I am not sitting in my department-there isn't  an empty desk for me at the moment. Which, to be fair, is a good problem to have. So I'm not complaining, especially now that I am being given more responsibility every day at work. On Friday one of my co-workers asked for my help on a project that will be a long-term effort. And one of the interns has started asking me questions! So, work was hard the first week, but look back on it-and from talking to some people who have been in the work place for at least 6 months-every one's first week is a little challenging.

Last week I made the promise to myself, you, and God, that I would go to North Point today. I went. I need to get there about 10:45 though if I'm going to sit closer to the front. I have most definitely found a MEGA-church. But I absolutely loved it. I can't tell you why, because I can't put into words how being surrounded by so many people who have come together to worship makes me feel. I guess I can compare it to the way a really good piece of music gives me goosebumps. For example, whenever I listen to Jupiter (granted, I am biased since I play French horn) or, even a couple times during some Glee Club performances this past semester. When those guys sing... shivers. Anyway. I was a little disappointed they didn't have a NEXT class today, but they will next week and I have every intention of going. (The NEXT class is for people who are new to NP and want to get involved or learn more about NP)

On a completely different note, I started making myself a bag to take my lunch in to work. I like packing my lunch instead of going out every day, so I figured a bag would be a good idea. I found zebra print material at Jo-Ann's! So I'm making myself a lunch bag and it will be awesome. Don't worry, I'll post pictures of it once I am all finished.

So I'm going to go work on that and play with the cats because they won't leave me alone... Pesky cats!

Until next time, dear reader. Matthew 5:14-16.

Amazing how He works.

I have been struggling with the move to ATL and finding a new church. I thought I had found one in North Point Community Church (NP), but I attended Buckhead Church last weekend and was absolutely overwhelmed with the number of people. The boy was there with me, which helped a lot. Although I say I like change (and I do) it's just hard for me to accept it sometimes.

I started my journey towards God at Purdue Christian Campus House (PCCH or CH), a small intimate church on Purdue's campus. I was baptized there, and I consider it my "home church" still. I promised myself this week that I would attend NP. I know that I need to surround myself with people, especially since I feel like an outcast at work (more on that later). I also know that church is a fantastic place to find new friends, after all, before CH I had very few girlfriends. Now I have a couple that I cannot imagine my life without.

So, because it's hard for me to accept change, I typically will wimp out of a scary situation. In this case, it was attending a new church by myself for the first time. I bargained with myself and said, "Well, I still want to go to church, but I a) don't want to use up the gas it would take to drive the 30 minutes there and b) don't know anyone there so I will be all alone." Instead, I attended in my pjs and watched the sermon online. (They live stream the 11AM service and replay it at 6PM. So, if you're interested in watching today's message, you can at 6! http://northpointonline.tv/)

Today was the conclusion of their series "Amazing Stories". Today they visited the story of Naaman, the commander of the Aram army. For those of you who aren't familiar with the story, here's a brief description: Naaman has leprosy. He is told by one of his servants that there is a prophet in Israel who can cure him. He goes to the king and asks to go, the king agrees and sends a letter with him.

The letter that he took to the king of Israel read: "With this letter I am sending my servant Naaman to you so that you may cure him of his leprosy." -2 Kings 5:6

The king of Israel sends him to Elisha, the prophet his servant spoke of. Naaman expects Elisha to wave his hand over him and be cured, but instead he sends a servant to greet Naaman and his group. The servant tells him to go and bathe in the Jordan seven times and he will be cured. Naaman is angry with Elisha and refuses. 

Naaman's servants went to him and said, "My father, if the prophet had told you to do some great thing, would you not have done it? How much more, then, when he tells you, 'Wash and be cleansed'!" -2 Kings 5:13

Naaman goes and bathes in the Jordan. He is cured and returns to Elisha, grateful for what he has done. One of the things Andy Stanley ended with was saying that if God is putting something on your heart that you know you need to do, even if you have convinced everyone else around you, and you are still not convinced, do it. God doesn't owe us an explanation. There are times in everyone's life when He is pushing something into our hearts that we may not understand. It is during those times we need to follow Him. Even though it may seem like such a simple thing, in my case, actually going to NP, He has something much bigger in store for us. If you don't follow, you will regret it, no matter how small a thing it is. And so, I am making the commitment today to attend NP next Sunday. I know there aren't that many of you who are readers, but I need to be held accountable. I do regret not going today, but today's message has made me realize that I need to go. Even if I am uncomfortable, I have to go. I can attend the "next" session after the service and hopefully meet some other new to town people.

Until next time readers. Thank you for being here for me, even though you are few.

hooray!

first, i apologize for my spelling and grammatical errors, because i am posting from my phone due to the lack of interwebz. i also apologize for not capitalizing anything, since apparently i cannot. nor can i use any punctuation besides , or .

anyway. i officially completed my first week of work, exclamation point. it was stressful, the boy can attest to that... i do not really enjoy being the new kid, especially when i cant sit with my own department, due to a lack of space. it is indeed a good problem to have, but it doesnt change the fact that i am not sitting with my department. oh well. I will soon be sitting with them.

Oh man... I just figured out if I "edit HTML" instead of "Compose", my phone capitalizes&spell checks like normal. Well, I guess from here to the end of this post I have no excuse. So I am post from my phone due to a lack of interwebz in my apt, but I am also laying by the pool. :-D whee! So far I am enjoying being in Hotlanta, we will see when winter rolls around and I don't get snow...

This weekend will be full of relaxing and unpacking. I am probably going to go to Home Depot to buy some shelves so I can actually put the stuff haha/organize it, haha. I have also started to read "Jesus Freaks", a book the boy recommended. So far I truly enjoy it, and I will probably share a story or two from it as I continue to read. I will give a brief review if you are interested, but not today. My thumbs hurt from all of this typing! Besides, my stomach is starting to tell me that it is dinner time. Omnomnom.

Until next time readers.

Pray for those you know who are suffering, and pray for those who live in countries where they are persecuted for loving christ.

Nationwide is on my side.

Work starts on Monday, but I had to call in to a meeting this morning about retirement plans (401k and what-not). It's weird that I am already thinking about this kind of thing. This is going to be a short entry, simply because I need to finish packing today. This is my new apartment!! I will be getting the key this afternoon, because I didn't want to make the 18 hr round trip drive just to pick up a key. I am really really excited about moving into my new place, but I am not excited about starting work.

Anyway. I really should get to packing, since I just spent the last hour listening to Hollis discuss my retirement nonsense. Although I know it's not really nonsense, it's just odd because I'm only 23 and already thinking about retirement plans. I know I need to though. I guess it was really weird when they were talking about how I need to have a will. Eep!

Until next time readers... (and next time I will have pictures of my new place!!)

I can't believe it.

It's been 5 months today. I am amazed, to be honest. It has been an absolutely fantastic 5 months. He is currently in Joplin, MO helping clean up damage from the tornado. I am so proud of him. (Sorry if this embarrasses you, boyfriend, but you truly are wonderful.) I really wanted to go with him to help, but I have to pack up my apartment this week so I can get ready for the move to Atlanta in the next two weeks. I sent Aslan with him (Aslan is my travel lion, lol. He's a Webkinz.) for the car ride. I know that God is using him to do amazing things in the world and will continue to do so. The boy has such strong faith and I am so lucky to have him in my life. I am so grateful he is a stronger person than I am and is helping lead me towards Him.

I have been struggling recently with the fact that it seems like all of my friends are engaged or married at this point, but I guess summer seems to be the time of all that. Which is rough on me, since my clock is telling me I should be getting married too. But I know that in time it will happen, and if God wants the boy and I to be together, it will be amazing and perfect. And until then, I can only know that I love my boyfriend and take it one day at a time.

I have exciting news, but I can't tell you because my friend hasn't even announced yet. So, until then I will have to stay hush-hush about it. But I am excited!!! :D I have already started to design a sewing project for my friend, but I'm not gonna post pictures on here until it's all done and sent away because I don't want to ruin the surprise. :)

I should probably get working hardcore on my packing... I admit that I haven't done much today. I have, however, picked out my TV stand. EXPEDIT TV storage unit from IKEA! In black, I think. I can only hope that it fits!! There's an IKEA in ATL, so I will be able to order it from there and get it delivered to my new apt. I would like to pick out a couch from IKEA as well, but I don't know yet. Hopefully the boy will be willing to help me pick out a couch that he can be comfortable on when he visits... since he's so tall, haha.

Until next time, readers.

Skirt & Stuff

So I finished (sort of, haha) my skirt! It needs a lining because the material is sort of see-through, but only when I stand naturally, so a lining is pretty much necessary if I'm going to wear it in public, haha. It actually wasn't too hard to put together, cutting out the pieces took a little over an hour and it was easy enough to put the main pieces together. Attaching the yoke and finishing the skirt was a challenge. It took me a while to figure out what the pattern meant by the "lower edge of the yoke" and the "upper edge of the skirt" (I had to pin them together) but I eventually got it after looking at a few pictures of skirts with yokes and the picture of the pattern again. I finished it in probably about 5ish hours, but it was my first skirt and I stumbled with the yoke. But now that I've got one done, especially with that pattern, I figure it will take me maybe 4-5 hours to make another one. The skirt even has pockets! It's fairly awesome.

Before cutting any pieces

All the pieces are cut out!

The first half of the pockets

My first attempt at pleats turned out fairly well.

Finished skirt!

I love the pockets.

Eventually I want to purchase some heavier material and make this skirt for work. I'm thinking grey linen, but I'm not really sure. I think if I make it out of a heavier material it will hang differently at the bottom, so it might be better for work. (I also don't think the polka dots would be work appropriate, haha).

Speaking of work, I'm going to Indy this weekend for the 500! My last band event as a member of the AAMB... I am going to go through withdrawal come the fall, and I know it. The boy is starting to go through his own withdrawals. We have joked about finding grief counselors for each other. Ridiculous, I know. We'll be okay. I have already told him that if he stops singing I'll smack him. He then proceeded to ask me if I had found anything for band in ATL yet. I haven't, but I need to. I know I will miss playing. I pulled out my old trumpet today to show it to him, the valves still move! (After not touching it for a few years, I was very impressed) But if I do find a play to play, I'll bring my French horn over my trumpet, simply because it's been so long since I have played my trumpet.

The boy came with me to my parent's house from Tuesday-this afternoon. We detoured to the Navy Pier,  because my mom's flight back from CA was cancelled. So she got in to O'Hare at 11pm. We picked her up and went the rest of the way home. It was fun walking around Navy Pier with the boy, he hadn't ever been there before. It was chilly!! We were both in shorts because it had been summer in Indiana but became fall in Chicago. Brr. It rained while we were at home, but we went to the Jelly Belly factory and the Cheese Castle. He was excited when I told him we were going to go there. We bought lots of jelly beans and took the tour of the Jelly Belly warehouse/factory with my mom. She was happy we were finally able to visit her. We were both been so busy this semester there wasn't time for us to make the drive up to see her.

It's bedtime for me. I'm glad to be back in my apartment in IN, especially with my cats. (They were at home for the weekend, but I was able to bring them back with me this time. It was so lonely here without them!)

Until next time, readers.

Fortune cookie says: Be patient! The Great Wall didn't got build in one day.