Trust in the Lord with all your heart

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

I picked this verse for today because I know that I need to focus on this in the upcoming weeks/months. It's funny (or something) how things work out sometimes. My man moved to Atlanta in August to be with me. Which was fantastic until I moved to Dallas. I was able to go to Indy for his Great Banquet weekend at Connection Pointe at the end of February. From what what I could tell, he had a really good time and enjoyed his experience. I was able to pull off the surprise visit, which was nice. I also got to hang out with his family for a while, which is always a fun time.

We found out that Sunday evening that there might be something available for him in the Indy area (job wise). I can't say anything about it, partly because I don't know and partly because it's not officially available yet. So, as of right now, we don't know where I will be once this project is completed. My company still hasn't told me yet, and I'm not sure when they will know. We know that I am in Dallas (full-time now!), and he is in Atlanta (with awesome volunteer opportunity that he is taking advantage of, and a part time job). Other than that, we're just in a state of maybe's. It stinks, but it's the only option we've got right now. He's been talking with the maybe-job and they can't tell him anything because one of the guys is on vacation this week, but hopefully in the next couple of weeks they will be able to give him a better idea of what's going on.

So really, we know nothing more than we did before he went to his Great Banquet weekend. At this point, we're focusing on letting go and letting God. It will work out, and only He knows how. We put our faith in Him for a reason, and so we're praying that He guides us to a good place.

With all I am, Lord, I will follow You

I'm going to go a little off my "norm" for posting. Today's update doesn't really follow a sermon. It's actually a combination of the two that I heard today, this morning at Chase Oaks and this evening at North Point. Chase Oaks started a new series this morning about David, titled "Messy Spirituality", and North Point started a series entitled "The Comparison Trap". On that note, I'll start with the fact that I have recently been struggling with something. It appears that a lot of girls in committed, serious, relationships seem to struggle with this as well (some guys, too, from what I gather). It seems as though my friends are all getting engaged or married. Some of them already have families, some multiple kids. So I continue to ask, "Why hasn't it been my turn yet? Why haven't I been able to find that happiness?" (But I have, more on that in a minute.)

My first thought is that I don't deserve that happiness, that some of the choices that I made in the past are detrimental to my present, and future, contentment. I think this because I was happy, but then work made me move away from my happiness. I'm struggling with the issues that come with all long-distance relationship. And let me tell you, you think it might get easier? It doesn't. I applaud those who do this regularly because of their situations, because I am here with you now, and it is not a fun place to be. I had convinced myself that I am destined to be in this state of limbo, not really knowing where I am. This morning during my time at Chase Oaks Jeff (the senior pastor) spoke about David. To sum up this morning's message: That thing that you think is keeping you from doing something great? That thing that you think is detrimental to God choosing you to do His work? It's exactly why He will choose you. God does not look at the things that man looks at, He only looks at the purity of our hearts. Those who are pure of heart will do great things, God will see to that.

Woah. Wait a minute there, Jeff. You mean that I will get to my place of happiness one day? Yea. That's exactly what it means. You mean that I will get to be just like the rest of my friends who are happily engaged/married/parents? Yep.

Well, that's a relief. But I'm still unhappy. I'm unhappy because Friend A is getting married late spring/early summer. Friend B is planning on proposing to his girlfriend this summer/early fall. Friend C is having her first baby this summer. Friend D just bought a house with his fiancee. Why can't I be there too? Why can't I have that kind of happiness? So I sink back down into my original state of unhappiness.

Fast forward to this evening (yes, folks, this all happened in one day. Most of my feelings have been building over the last couple of months, but every once in a while they get more extreme). I sit down to watch North Point, I miss being there at the main campus. I wish I could be, but I can watch on my TV now so I'll tune in every week in the evenings. Opening sequence plays and announces the new series: "The Comparison Trap."

Okay, really? Come on, God. Really?? Fine. I'll watch. I'll listen with an open heart. What is it You want me to hear?

There is no win in comparison. You can look to your left and to your right all you want, but you'll just be more unhappy with where you are. (Next week Andy will discuss the mirror we should be looking in. Who should we be looking at?) We live in the land of -er. We all want to be happy-er, strong-er, skinny-er, rich-er, etc. We are constantly comparing ourselves to others. (I just sat there on my couch, mouth gaping. After a few moments I had to just shake my head. I get it, Lord. Okay? I get it. I'll work on it. I have to start some where/some time. Show me how.)

It seems to me, that on a regular basis, God proves that He has a sense of humor. He puts these struggles into my life, and then He throws something like today at me. Thanks for that. I really appreciate it. (No really, I actually do.)

It's amazing how He does this to me. Have you ever felt that He was playing games with you? Sometimes it's frustrating, at least it is for me, but I know that He has a plan for me and that if I want to see where it's leading me I just need to relax and know that I am in good hands.

So remember these things: God does not look at the things that man looks at. He is only concerned with the purity of your heart. And there is no win in comparison.

Until next time, dear readers.

Romans 5: 6-8

No matter what life brings

So in my last update I said that I was moving to Dallas. Well, I have officially moved. My stuff is here, but I am still very much in boxes. (Makes cooking a little challenging, haha) I've actually been here for a week, although it doesn't feel like it. Well, I was in LA for most of last week. I'm going to be traveling between the two cities every other week. It's going to be sort of fun, because I'll get to see family that I have in LA. Less fun because there's a 2 hour time change between here and there, and even less fun because I'll be away from my kitties for two weeks every month.

My man stayed in ATL and so on top of my traveling every other week we are also dealing with a long distance relationship. After being in the same city for a while-with no school commitments- it became clear to me just how much I need him in my life. So I'm struggling with the fact that our relationship is now texts during the day, nightly phone calls and skype dates. Don't get me wrong, I am happy. I am less than thrilled that this is what our relationship has become, but it has to. And I'm okay with it. Not happy, but okay. From what I can tell, he's feeling the same way I am about this. I cannot speak for him, but through our phone calls I can tell he misses me just as much as I miss him.

So, I am now a traveler. I'm adjusting to the life-style. I'm not sure how well I am adjusting yet, but I am adjusting. I need to find the motivation to unpack myself out of boxes so I can feel like I actually live here. Since most of my stuff is still packed away, it's hard for me to feel like I do live here. It's getting there. Slowly-very slowly. I'm trying to unpack a box a day. And, well, I unpacked a few boxes today. But I haven't found places for everything I unpacked yet, so why did I unpack? Now my stuff is just... everywhere.

Anyway, I need to pack tomorrow for LA and do a little cleaning before I go to bed, and I'm tired. Tomorrow is going to be busy for me, my flight leaves at 5:57am tomorrow. I am going to be tired Monday if I don't get to bed early tomorrow, which means I should go to bed early tonight. So, until next time, dear readers.


PS If you get the chance, check out northpointonline.tv and watch the message titled "This One Thing". Nehemiah 3:6 is helping me through this tough situation. I am focusing on Him. I have to, otherwise I won't make it.

End of the Year Life update

So as the title says, this is going to be a mini life update for me. Chances are you already know this but I'll say it anyway. I am moving to Dallas in January for work. I don't have a place to live yet (+10 stress) (okay, at least not officially. I found a place that looks nice and isn't super expensive, and they have my application and they're just waiting on my deposit and application check which I mailed on Monday.), my man is going to stay here (+5 stress), and I'm going to be working on TWO projects (+7 stress) that I've never had experience with before (+6 stress  +8 stress). Luckily the moving company came today and did the survey of my apartment, so that's one less thing on my plate. Now I just have to prime and spackle the walls... Also, I have found out that I'll be traveling to the job in LA twice a month for about three days at a time. So, 4 plane rides a month. That means about 12 hours on airplanes plus all of the airport time. I'm planning on using that time working on my 52 book challenge. So, as you can imagine, life is a little hectic right now.

I'm going to try and keep updating, but I don't know how often it will be. I've done some research about where I will be living, and I think I may have found a new church to go to. I'm going to try and keep up with North Point still, because I like Andy so much. Chase Oaks seems like it will be okay, I can't give you an honest opinion since I've never been. I'll let you know what I think once I get there. (Unrelated, but I think I'm going to find a zumba class when I get there as well. I think I would like it.) I'm also planning on becoming a Texas resident, so that means new driver's license, new plates, new car insurance, etc. Eep! So much to do in such short time... and I'll probably be regularly working 10-12 hour days.

We found my man a place to live and we're planning on getting all of the rest of his stuff into his new place this weekend, so that will be good. I think. We're struggling-okay, I'm struggling with this idea that we'll be 13+ hours apart. (and twice a month we'll be on opposite sides of the country. boo.) But we'll make it work, I know we will. We made it through the two months during the summer, we can make it through the next 7 or 8. We also know that God has a plan for us, and I'm relying heavily on Him through this transition in my life.

"God makes all things work together for my good." -- Your Love Never Fails by Chris Quilala/Jesus Culture

I am looking forward to this next phase in my life as a "traveler" as I've heard it called at work. I know this won't be a forever thing, but I'm sure looking forward to it for a now kind of thing. I trust in the Lord and prayed about this for three days before I made my decision. I hope that this change will mean good things for me and for my career. Plus, I've never been to Texas. (that one time I was in Houston for less than 24 hours doesn't count. and yes, I did leave the airport.)

Until next time, dear readers. Romans 8:28

Well hi there, December.

Note: I started this entry while I was in Wisconsin, and never posted it. So I'm finishing it up and posting it today.

I'm in Wisconsin for a long weekend so I can be with my family. All you need to know is that my family was able to be together for a long weekend and everyone is better now.  We got to celebrate Thanksgiving and sort of Christmas a little early, which was nice. It was fantastic being able to see everyone this weekend.

Since I'm watching from Wisconsin today, chances are that my notes will be more involved than they normally are, since I'm able to take more in depth notes while Andy is speaking.

Psalm 145:8 reads, "The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love."

This week's message was, generally speaking, about the difference between intervention and prevention. Andy started out with telling us that we would probably tell him that "this a'int much of a sermon". He went on to tell us that "you guys have been ridiculous." He was definitely into his "being a proud papa" thing while he was telling us this. Here's where I get to tell you about how awesome North Point is: we were asked to give $500,000. We gave over $2,000,000.  We were asked to serve 8,000 hours, we served over 15,000. We were asked to give 25 tons of food, and we gave 41 tons. This is only one of many reasons why I love my church.

Andy goes on to explain "Giving 1.0". Giving 1.0 is giving directly to something that will help immediately. (this is partly an American thing, partly a Christian thing.) So, we see someone in need or we are asked to give, and so we give. It's emotional giving. This is what Andy referred to as "Intervention Giving". It's giving to someone in crisis-the giving that I got to brag about, it was Giving 1.0. It's emotional and measurable. We can count how many families we're feeding with the food we have given, or the number of patients that the clinics can see because of our monetary donations.

Question: Do you know long it took North Point to raise 1 million dollars in one day?
Assumed answer: It took a day, right?
Real Answer: No. It's taken us 16 years to be able to give that much.

It took that long because of a different kind of giving: it's "Giving 2.0". Giving 2.0 is giving so we can avoid people getting into the situations we're helping them get out of. It's Prevention Giving. It's neither emotional or measurable. Examples of Preventative Giving:
      I'm going to give a % to a church.
      I'm not doing it because of the flash, or the message of the day. I'm giving because I love this church. I'm giving because I want to continue to help my church.

Andy left us with this "motto" to live by: Give, save, live. Give first, save some, and live on the rest.
Many of us would live better lives if we gave more money away. This is something that I'm trying to learn first-hand, and I plan on being a percentage giver in 2012. I've established myself at work, in my apartment, so I can, and plan on, Giving 2.0.

In case you're interested in giving to North Point, this is mostly for me to remember, I can give online at NPMgive.org.

The church is the hope of the world because Jesus is the hope of the world.

Until next time, dear readers.

Series Recap: The Immeasurable Life

For the past three weeks we have been studying Ephesians 3:14-21 with Joel Thomas, North Point's campus pastor. We specifically focused on Eph 3:20-21. It reads, "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." (NIV)

He started with a question, "Have you ever wanted more?" It doesn't matter what you have wanted more of, but the truth is that you have wanted more of something at some point in your life. You begin to think that if you could just get "there", you wouldn't want anything more. Let's say that "there", is getting a promotion or raise at work. You work hard to show your boss that you deserve the promotion/raise. You work extra hours, take on tasks you normally wouldn't, etc. Eventually you get rewarded for all of your hard work and get that promotion/raise. You're happy and you've finally gotten "there". But after a while, you begin to realize that you still want more. We get stuck in this endless loop of wanting more. When does it end?

What do you measure? Time? Money? The things you measure are the things that are important to you. Do you believe that immeasurably more than you could ever imagine is possible for you? In your family, relationship, career, future, etc.

More is possible because God is able.

He has immeasurably more planned for us. We forget this, and I think that some of us don't believe it. Remember that one time when something amazing happened to you that you never thought would? A job opportunity, a relationship, anything. They are works of God. I know I take Him for granted sometimes, and in light of recent events with my family, I have to remember that all things work together for good.

I know that He has something more planned for you as well. Joel ended the first week with this prayer:

      God, help me to look beyond what I can measure and to believe that, because of you, immeasurably more is possible for me.

The next message in the series was about, "What happens next?"So we know that God has more planned for us. But how do we get there? There is nothing more frustrating than knowing there is more out there and not knowing how to get it. (I am totally in this situation right now, so this message really hit home for me.) 

We looked looked at Eph 3:14-20 this week, and looked more in depth at Eph 3:16: I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being.

So what? So, my dear reader, immeasurably more is possible for you, but not until it happens in you. Confused? I was too at first. Immeasurably more starts within you. It is about a change in your inner self, it is not external change that makes this happen.

Have you ever been loved? By anyone. Your parents, a significant other, a friend. We all have, whether it is expressed or not. Love is life altering. Whether it is present or not, love is the driving force behind most decisions. If someone you love achieves something great, you want to be there for them in celebration. If you get your heart broken, you may not want to leave the house for a few days. 

When the most powerful force, love, is directed at you by the most powerful being, God, you will change. Slowly at first, but when you allow His love to empower you, it will happen more radically. I have experienced this first hand over the past year. I am grateful for His love every day.

Here are two suggestions for you on how you can begin to let His love empower you.

• Pray for the capacity to grasp God's love.
• Pursue intimacy with God, community with insiders, and influence with outsiders.

And onto the last week in the series, which was this last weekend. The most important thing to remember from this last weekend in the series is that it's not about you. 

One of the things that Joel said that explained this best to me was, "When more is about you, immeasurably more seems impossible." The moon doesn't give off any light of it's own. (I'm sure you already knew that.) It reflect's the sun's light. We should be like the moon, not giving off our own light but reflecting God's. 

I forget the man's name that Joel mentioned, but he gave a couple of quotes from a book about how the first Christians changed the world. Some of the examples were:

• The value of human life was raised.
• Sexual immorality was confronted.
• Women received freedom and dignity.
• Christian symbols and expressions permeated the culture.

In a time when the world was enslaving their own children and leaving healthy babies for dead because they were unwanted, Christians began to reflect the light of God. They changed how the known world viewed them.

When you live a life worthy of God's calling, your life outlives you. A friend of mine recently lost a close friend of his. He was a man of God, very involved with his church. I have tried to console my friend, but sometimes I have felt like nothing I have said has helped. After this weekend, I told my friend that he can miss his friend. I would too. I told him that he should keep talking about his friend, keep listening to his music. The legacy he left behind can only be told by those of us left on Earth, and my friend should keep his legacy alive.

To conclude this series recap, ask yourself the following questions:

Are there areas of your life that you are living that aren't worthy of God's calling?

Are there passages in the Bible that you ignore because you don't think they apply to you?

To truly live a live worthy of God's calling and to be empowered by His love, these are things that you might want to consider editing. The Bible was written over 2000 years ago, and it is all still relevant in our lives today, if you can extract the lesson being taught and apply it to your life. You can either jump in, there is no "testing the waters", or miss out. You're either all in or not in at all. There is no "in between" with this.

Until next time, dear readers.

How did I get here? (part 4)

So I left off with my acceptance to my job in ATL, which is why I am here and have the opportunity to attend North Point. My man, P, agreed that ATL would be the best option for both of us. We made the decision and I accepted the job offer here in about April. I was unsure when I wanted to start working, but I knew I wanted to take some time off between college and "real life". So all of a sudden graduation was upon us. Before I knew it, I was walking across the stage accepting my diploma and my man was smiling at me from the risers where the Glee Club was sitting. It was by far one of the best days of my life so far. 


So that brings me up to about the point where I had to make the move here from school. My man and one of my new best friends from my small group (who also happened to be my neighbor) helped me pack up my apartment and load it all into a Uhaul. My parents made it to school to help me with the last of the cleaning and loading of the truck. My dad drove the Uhaul here and my mom went back home because of the animals. My man and I drove my car and we got into ATL at about 3am. My dad got here with the Uhaul at about 7am (he stopped and took naps along the way) and we unloaded the Uhaul, found my towels, showered and then napped.


So really, that about catches me up to present day. Well, at least until I started regularly (sort of) blogging. Speaking of, I've been thinking. I know I've been trying to update weekly but I'm not sure that's working out for me (especially based on the fact it's been a month since I've posted). So I think what I'm going to do is update monthly, and at the end of series at North Point. Like a monthly life update and then a series update. We'll see how it works. At least that's my plan for now.


Also, two more things for this update. 1) I am addicted to Pinterest. 2) My goal for 2012 is to read 52 books. I've added a book list page, so if you have any recommendations, I would love to hear them from you. I'm open to almost anything. I'd rather avoid lots of biographies, politics, and factual history. One or two would be okay, but they aren't exactly the most interesting books (in my opinion). 


Anyway. Look for more updates from me, once in a while, and eventually crossing off books on my list. Maybe I'll do some book reviews as well. 


Until next time, dear reader. And thanks for sticking with me. I wasn't sure if I was going to update, but a very good friend of me told me the other evening that she missed reading my updates. So she's the reason I updated this evening. So thank you to her for giving me the desire to write again.