I'm going to try harder.

My man keeps giving me grief for not updating-I gotta admit it's kind of nice to know he actually reads my blog updates and may even like reading them, HA! It seems I haven't been updating nearly as much, I can only blame myself for this lack of updates. So, I'm going to try harder. I can't guarantee it will be every week, but I'll admit part of the problem was the lack of ideas coming to me. Especially since I'm not sure I want this to be a journal where I spew my issues with the world... That's what paper is for. Paper that I can read and then burn/shred/etc. I'll include important goings-on in my world, if I feel the need to.

Like the fact that my small group has met twice outside of Group Link, and tomorrow evening is my turn to share my story. It will be sort of like the update I started a long time ago... but in it's entirety. Well, sort of. I can't possibly tell my entire story in 10-15 minutes, but I can tell the important parts. Especially recent (and not-so-recent-but-still-seem-recent) events. In any case, I'm going to bring pictures from my baptism and the DVD of my lavaliere, both of which are extremely important to me and helps me tell my new friends about my life. (Plus I'll get to show off my man in his tuxedo... :-D)

So, I'll recap the series for you since I cannot go into detail about the last 4 weeks-partly because I cannot remember everything that Andy Stanley has said over the previous weeks. I'll hit the parts I thought were important/stuck out the most to me. To begin, this was a 6 week series titled "Recovery Road", I believe I posted about the first or second week, but haven't since.
Main points:

• Recovery begins with me, not them. It begins with we, not they.
• Recovery begins when moral authority supersedes reelection as the value of choice among our nations leaders.
• Recovery begins with a declaration of dependence.
• Recovery begins when we embrace the fiscal discipline of lending rather than borrowing.
• Recovery begins when we leverage our entitlement for the benefit of those less entitled.

So, to explain a few of the main points I listed: What do all of our elected officials have in common? They were elected. So how can we possibly expect them to change when we are the ones electing them? Which can only mean one thing: we have to reconsider who we are voting for-and why we are voting for them. I won't tell you who to vote for or why to vote for a certain person, that's up to you. Your decisions cannot be made for you-but if you are a Christian, you need to take a serious look at the candidates and allow your faith to help you choose. My man and I actually got into a discussion about this last night, about how I find it kind of ridiculous that we are so concerned with the fact that is . Mostly because of the fact that we're so ashamed/nervous about talking about religion in the public eye. This leads into the declaration of dependence. This isn't a direct quote, but I think I got most of it right, from Andy (this is in part 4, if you want to take a listen to the podcasts): we would rather run the risk of offending God than the 8% of Americans who do not believe in God. And, oh by the way, half of those 8% don't care if we do talk about God. What would happen if the men and women in Congress fell to their knees and declared dependence on God? Can you even imagine what would happen to our country if we accepted and put our trust in God again? If you're lucky enough to have those little green bills in your wallet, take one out. Look at the back of it. See the promise we have made to ourselves, to our country, to others, and most importantly, to our God? "In God We Trust." We readily accept these pieces of paper in our lives, but why can't we accept God? Why is it that talking about God on a national level leaves us uncomfortable? I can't tell you. I'm not sure anyone can answer that question. The finance week hit me in a spot that has been making me think about it since then. I haven't ever had a salary-I mean, yes. I had internships. But I feel like those were part time jobs, getting me ready for the real world (even though I was working full time). So now I have a steady income and I'm so used to being a broke college student, part of me is still spending like I was a broke college student. Which, I suppose is a good thing. I refuse to open a second credit card, and I recently opened a savings account with USAA so I can transfer some of my money every month into it. 

This leads me into the last main point, from today. I am so blessed to have this opportunity for a job upon my college graduation, and I am ecstatic that I am now able to help Campus House out in a way that I couldn't while I was in college. They helped me-and showed me a love that I was unsure of, I don't know how else to thank them. I'm not even sure that it will ever be enough. Money is one of the four things we are entitled to. In list form:

• Time
• Money
• Possessions
• Influence

Jesus doesn't care how you got what you have or how much you have. What matters is what you do with what you have. What will you do with what you are entitled to? In a time where it seems like we are going to go through a second recession, most people will hold on to their "entitlements". But what would happen to our country if we gave what we could? What would happen if we all did without something that is minor? (Like, give up your fancy coffee for a month. Save that money and donate it somewhere like your local church.) Since I am still adjusting to this "real world" life, I haven't been the most generous with my time or money. My goal for 2012 is to, with every paycheck I get, take 10% and put it aside. I'm unsure if I will put it all towards North Point or give some to Campus House. I still have time to figure that out, but I know that this is something I need to be doing. I am blessed to have the life that I do and I know that I would not be here without God's love. The least I can do is give something back to these two communities that have helped me through some rough times. 

I pray that you will look at where you are and thank God for everything He has given you. I know that if you are reading this, you are blessed. Know that He loves you and is always with you. God works in strange ways some times, but it's always for the good. "You make all things work together for my good."

Until next time, dear readers.

It's been a while.

I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long, and because of that it's my own fault that I have lost the bulletins from previous weeks. So, if I find them I'll blog about the missing weeks. My man and I are planning on cleaning up a little tomorrow so maybe we'll find something then. If we do, I'll update about the missing weeks. Two weeks ago Andy talked about the importance of living in circles instead of rows. In other words, get involved with a small group. At any church-but especially at a church the size of North Point, you need a group of people you can count on-and a group of people who can count on you-to make your church life that much better. It gives you a sense of community, and gets you involved with the church. More on this in a minute, I'll mention my experience at Grouplink briefly.

First of all, let me begin by saying that I don't really want to write about this. But I know that I need to stretch myself spiritually so I can grow in my relationship with God, and since one of the easiest ways for me to do this is through writing, I have to do this entry. Last week we began a new series-one that a few people will have a field day with-called Recovery Road. One thing I like the most about NP is that Andy doesn't shy away from delicate topics that other churches might. He gives a fair warning that the day's message might not be the most comfortable for everyone, but he encourages everyone to stay and listen with open hearts and ears.

One of the main questions/statements from last week was "We look at our faith through a politics filter, not viewing our politics through a filter of our faith. What would happen if we did the reverse?" (Something along those lines.) So, based on this, why do we, as one of the strongest countries in the world, have so many financial problems? Even those who fight against us, invest in our US dollars because they know we are worth something. We have a lifestyle problem, not a cash-flow problem. We see this in our own lives, those of us who are in debt know this quite well. It also seems to be a management problem-look at the major businesses of the 90's that are no longer. It's not that they were necessarily lacking in the funds, their downfall happened because they had a management problem. One thing that Andy said-that I'm sure we can all relate to-is that our financial problems are similar to health problems. We ignore them until they become problems. We begin dieting/exercise regime when we hear from a doctor that we are at risk for, well, pick any health problem that might be able to be fixed/relieved with a change in diet and/or exercise.

Andy also said, "We are reaping what we have sown. Our problems stem from abused prosperity."
Why is this so? Because (this is according to Andy-and I agree with him in this case) we have a(n):
-discipline problem
-entitlement problem
-greed problem
and a
-fail of nerve problem.

These are all fairly self explanatory-but the last one seems a little more challenging. We back down from what we know needs to happen and so it doesn't. I think I heard this is one of my OLS classes at Purdue (woah! I actually learned something from those classes?!): We must do what is right now, and we must do what is right now. To clarify: we must do what is the right thing to do at the moment, and we must do what is correct at this very moment. I hope that makes some sense to you. I hope that you read this and think back to a moment when you had a failure of nerve. I hope that you are able to recognize the next moment when you might have a failure of nerve and are able to take the chance to step forward and beyond that nerve failure.

The road to recovery begins with we-not they. It begins with me-not you. There is so much more I could write on this last week's message, but I don't know how to put some of the things into my own words. If I can figure out a way, I'll update again and link it to here.

But onto my Grouplink experience on Thursday. I loved it. I was nervous going into the evening, but a good nervous-I kept comparing it to first day of school nerves. My man and I got there a few minutes early, but that was okay. We checked in and he went off to the men's side (at NP there are 2 kinds of groups-same gender and married couples groups) so I peeked at him once in a while at the beginning, just to make sure he was talking to people (I could only see him for maybe 10 minutes and he was talking to someone every time I got a peek at him). Any way, I met a fantastic woman shortly after arriving and she lives just around the corner from me! So we're going to be in the same community group, yay. We met up with other women who live in Marietta and there are about 11 of us in our group. We're going to have our first meeting after Labor Day, because our group leader is going to NY for the US Open. We are the youngest in our group, and I admit, I am a little nervous. I am fresh out of college, my neighbor has a 4 yr old stepson and works downtown ATL. The rest of the women have kids who are my age or older-and most of them also have grandkids. I am unsure about my group because of the age difference, but I am going to go into this with an open mind and open heart. Because if I don't, I could miss out on something that could be so beneficial for me. I'll keep you updated. Who knows, maybe by November I'll have a few new readers. :)

Until next time, dear readers.

Agh!

Hey all. Well, for those of you who are still reading... I'm sorry I haven't updated in two weeks. I completely forgot to post last weekend and I was busy buying out Wal-Mart yesterday and then I had to nap after my long day-I know, whoop whooop. Excuse train. I'll update ASAP, with a real entry, I promise. Just not tonight, since it's bedtime.

Also, please continue to pray for those families and friends affected by the tragedy at the Indiana State Fair. I (very) indirectly know someone who lost their life in the crisis.



On a much much happier note, my entire family will be here this weekend (I haven't seen my sister since May/June!) and then my man finally gets here!! (I haven't seen him since I dropped him off at the airport on June 20. I really do not like long distance relationships.) I am so excited for this weekend!! I'll make sure I update Sunday evening after my family is gone, if I can drag myself away from hugging my boyfriend, haha. :)

Until next time, dear readers.

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

I apologize for the late post this week. My parents were here for the weekend and I was busy spending time with them. We had a good time by the pool and at the DCI Southeastern Championship. We went to North Point on Sunday, and my mom loved it. We then spent some more time at the pool and then Dad&I changed my car's headlight and installed a digital thermometer for my A/C. So, overall, a good weekend.

Yesterday we looked at Mark 9:42-48. It was a pretty intense message, and a couple times I could only pray that my parents weren't turned off to NP because of it. Joel started with a reference to the movie 127 Hours. If you haven't seen it, Google it. I'm not sure I could handle explaining the movie, let alone watching it. But one of the quotes he pulled from the movie was "It's just an arm." After all, it is just an arm. You can live with out it. Sure, it will be challenging at first. It's essentially a new way of life, but a necessary step for you to take. Aren't there things you hold tight onto that cause you to stumble? I know there are for me. I do apologize, dear readers, but there are some things the interwebz don't need to know. I trust that there are things about you that you don't wish others to know, and so you understand my position. Maybe it's something that you are doing that is causing you to stumble. Something you look at, something you think about, whatever it is, it's causing you to stumble. 

If you knew years before the problem were to arise, wouldn't you cut whatever it is out of your life? A surprising quote from yesterday morning was "1 in 5 divorces cite Facebook as a cause to the beginning of an affair". If you knew that Facebook would ruin your marriage, wouldn't you deactivate your account? I know I would. No questions about it, I would say goodbye to Facebook. What we do today impacts where we end up tomorrow. I know it seems like a given, but it's still something to think about. Consider it as you go through your day. "If I do this/look at this/buy this, how will it impact my tomorrow?" There may not be an immediate effect on your life, but in time it may begin to affect your life in a way that you wish it wouldn't. 

There is more to this life than this life. Why would you trade anything for your eternity? I do wish that I could go back and change some things that I have done. But I can't. I can only go on with my life, and change what I am doing today and hope that it will have a positive effect on my future life. I pray that I can look back on my life now and say, "Good job, 2011 me. You made some good choices that year." 

I hope that you think about what is causing you to stumble and seriously consider cutting it out of your life. I am making steps towards my own goal, and I hope that you will be able to do the same. If you want to share your story with me, please message me or send me an email. I would be more than happy to listen and help if I can. If you'd rather not, that's okay too. If you would like me to pray for you, please don't hesitate to ask. This is a tough thing to go through (no matter what your stumbling block is) and I hope that you can trust that there is someone for you to talk to if you need to.

I have no idea how I will write next week's blog, we got a "don't bring your small children to next week's service" announcement. It's the last message in this series, and it's about marriage. I attended a service with my man at Connection Pointe, his home church, that was also about marriage. I admit that after that service I was kind of a mess. Luckily for me, he was there to lean on. I'm not sure how I will survive next week-since I have a feeling it will be similar.

Only 2 more Sundays left... Until next time, dear readers.

How did I get here? I'm not who I once was. (part 1)

To start, the subject is a few lines from a song that has really spoken to me over the past month or so since I have moved to ATL. It's called "You Are More" by Tenth Avenue North. "You are more than the sum of your past mistakes." That has been a hard concept for me to accept, especially because of some of the mistakes I made in my past. But I'm writing this post to tell you how I got to where I am now. Emotionally, spiritually, heck, even why I moved to Atlanta.

So, how did I get here? Where is "here" exactly? Well, I suppose I need to take you back about two years, when all of this sort of began.

In March 2009 my mom had a stroke. It was hard on all the whole family. My boyfriend at the time was very supportive and caring-he was everything I could have hoped for. It was this even that really turned my world upside down and I started praying-really praying-for my mom's health. I had never seen my dad the way he was while we were visiting my mom in the ICU, and it scared me. Seeing my mom in the ICU was terrifying. But I felt like someone was out there, and so I knew everything would be okay. I knew she had awesome doctors and all I could do was pray that she would get better. So when I asked him if I could go to church with him, he agreed. We went to several different churches around Purdue, all Lutheran, since I didn't grow up in a religious household, and he did. I remember after one particular service-I have no idea what the message was-but the couple sitting in front of us introduced themselves. They noticed we were new and invited us to various events if we were interested (the guys played basketball one evening a week and the ladies met for-I'm not joking-sewing circles). We thanked them for the invitations but we were trying to find a church that suited both of us, and we were still undecided.

After we got in the car he asked me, "So what did you think?" I had no idea how to respond to him. So I said the default answer, "It was good." I didn't know what it was, but there was something about that service that just didn't click with me. We went to a few more services at different churches after that, but I never felt like I belonged there. Not just because we went to different churches, but because I felt like people could see this neon sign above me that announced I had no idea what I was doing and that I was new at this whole church-going thing. Eventually we stopped going. I think it was a combination of the fact I felt awkward at them and school got busy and, yea. I made excuses not to go. And then the school year ended, and I moved back to Wisconsin for my 2nd internship with the company my dad works for. I didn't think twice about going back to church once I moved back home.

I took a class over the summer and moved into my first apartment. Yea, I took a few weeks off during my internship to take this class. They were okay with it when I told them when they offered me an internship, and I needed the class. School started up again in August and everything was well. Mom was getting better and my boyfriend and I were happy. The fall semester came and went, and soon I was going home again for winter break. I took a train to Chicago for New Year's Eve to meet up with my boyfriend and a couple friends and he surprised me at the train station. It was freezing cold, but we had a good time. I went back home and then drove back to school for the spring semester. Spring semester started off pretty good, and then February happened. Right before Superbowl weekend he messaged me on facebook and said, "Can I come over? I need to talk to you." I said yes without hesitation and he showed up soon after and I hugged him, and knew immediately that something was wrong. He then told me it was over. He couldn't give me a reason why, but he was kind enough to stay for about 2 hours while I tried to comprehend what had just happened. He left about midnight and I immediately called my best friend and couldn't really formulate any sentences, but she showed up and sat with me for another hour. She went home and I eventually passed out because I was so exhausted.

I thought that maybe I could convince him to come back to me. I also thought that if I prayed, he would realize his mistake and come back. So I started praying. I couldn't accept that he had dumped me. Two weeks passed, and I was still extremely upset. My best friend told me that I needed to "get over it", and after that we basically stopped talking. I sunk down to a place that I hadn't been in years, and I still don't really know how my grades survived that semester. I got a B in a class that I should have easily gotten an A in because I flat out forgot to do an assignment. He told me he valued my friendship, so I continued to talk to him. I admit now that, at the time, that wasn't the best idea for my emotional well being. When I got the call before spring break for an internship offer in ATL, I immediately accepted. I hoped that maybe leaving Indiana behind would help me heal.

So the semester ended. I was completely broken, and didn't know how to fix myself. On the outside, I seemed okay. I had no choice. I was moving in with two other girls who had boyfriends and were happy. How could I live with them all summer if I let my emotions get the better of me? In June I saw on facebook that he was in a relationship with someone else. I completely broke down-but again, kept it to myself. I went out with my roommates, hoping it would help. (They had no idea.) It didn't. When I got back I deactivated my facebook account for the summer. I got a library card for the summer, and during my first visit the librarian asked me, "Are you Lutheran?" (I mentioned I was new to the area, and I guess because of my complexion she thought I might be. Still don't really understand that one...) She invited me to her church and gave me directions. She was very nice. I seriously considered about going, but I chickened out. I still wasn't sure where I sat with my faith, or with what I believed.

I'll end this post here, and keep your eyes open for another part. I'm not sure how many parts this will take, so bear with me dear readers. Also, if you're a praying sort of person, please pray for my second family. I won't go into details as they're not mine to share. If you're not a praying person, please keep them in your thoughts.

Until next time, dear readers. And thanks for reading, you truly inspire me to keep writing.

There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning.

8:51am: I realized something last night/this morning. Yes, I want to be engaged. Yes, I want to marry the man in my life. But you know what? I'm not in a hurry to do so. I love him, and I know that if/when the time is right for us, it will happen. I felt this unspoken pressure from myself, and from my friends, that I needed to be engaged. But I don't. I am happy with where I am in life right now. I do not need to be engaged to be happy. I would, however, really like it if my man could find a job and get his butt moved here so I could give him a big hug. I have also realized a couple things while reading Eat, Pray, Love. I haven't decided if I'm going to blog about them. I think before I do I need to have a talk with my man. (I know I wouldn't appreciate it if I found out something kind of major via the interweb rather than directly from him.) So, no promises dear readers.

7:03pm: Sorry I haven't updated yet today-I have been busy. Went to IKEA after church to pick up the parts to put together my couch... anyway. I got everything and now I'm updating from my new couch! I love it. Enough about this nonsense, onto why you are here.

Today was a celebration-we were able to witness two people get baptized this morning. As I listened to their stories about how they came to accept Jesus Christ as their savior, I thought about my own story. In time-I will share it with you but today is not the day. Anyway, I pray that I will always feel I did this morning when I am able to witness another get baptized. In any case, today we talked about Matthew 5:43-48. This morning, Rodney, the singles director from Buckhead Church, joined us for today's message: "Love your enemies." I immediately thought of the predicament I was in last night/this morning: the fact that IKEA didn't include the necessary hardware to assemble my couch. I was mad at them. So, I suppose this morning: they were my enemies. All right, I'm listening, God. What is it you want me to hear this morning?

What do you pray about? That seems like a silly question, don't you think? Listen to me, don't you pray for the things you want? Yea, okay. That's true. We pray for things our hearts are wrapped up in. Imagine what could happen to our hearts if we begin to pray for our enemies. Our enemies might be government officials, the woman in front of you in the grocery store who has seen one too many episodes of "Extreme Couponing" or that guy in the office, the one-upper, or even someone closer to you, someone that has hurt you. But if praying about something YOU want opens your heart, what will happen if you begin to pray for those who persecute you? Will it continue to open your heart to God?

So if Jesus said, "Love your enemies," who are our neighbors? Who are our enemies? We divide people up into groups. We don't do it consciously, or at least, I don't. I know I put people into groups, whether or not I will talk to them today, or if I want to shut this person out of my life forever.  You know you've made God into your image when He conveniently hates the same people you do. (Rodney said that. It got a lot of laughs-and he said, "You laugh because you know it's true." Yep.) Our enemies are those who you don't want to say hi to, those who you will avoid if they walk down the street towards you. When Rodney was saying those words, my thoughts immediately moved to someone who broke my heart. I haven't spoken to him since May 2010, where we got into a fight. He told me that it would have never worked. I realize now that he's right. If he believed it wouldn't work, it wouldn't have.

Rodney suggested that we pray out loud for our enemies, whether it be the next time you think of them or the next time you see them. "Dear God, please bless this woman..." (Personally, if I were the person someone was praying for, I would be a little weirded out. Mostly because it's not something that you see in a normal day.) So, on my way home from IKEA, I began to pray for him-my enemy, the boy who I thought was "the one". I prayed for his happiness. I prayed for the grace I will need when I see him again, because I'm confident that he will be at alumni band this year, to talk to him. To apologize, and then to thank him. I think he was the one who ignited something in my heart that got me thinking about my faith. He and I went to church together a few times, and after each service he would always ask, "What did you think?" I never had a really good answer for him because I didn't have a relationship with God. I also don't think that the churches we were going to were a good fit for me. I always felt out of place there, that others were looking at me and thinking, "She's new. She doesn't really belong here." At Campus House, Connection Pointe, and now at North Point, I have always belonged. I almost feel like they were there, waiting for me to find them.

So I pray that he is genuinely happy. I pray that he is able to find what he is looking for in his life. Thank you, God, for bringing him into my life when I needed him. And thank you for blessing me with this man who makes me happy beyond all reason. Even as I sit here on my new couch (that he helped me pick out!) and think about him, I can't help but smile. I finally printed out a picture of us for my desk and as I sit here and look at it, I'm getting all teary. I miss him-it's been over a month since I have seen his face and it will be another month until I get to see him again. But, I can begin a countdown of sorts I guess. Only 4 more Sundays until he's planning on being here and then he can come to North Point with me, thank goodness. I love him and can't wait to share this with him.

Until next time, dear readers.

May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you. Psalm 33:22

Are you seeing that person?

That person who is there right in front of you that you are missing because you are too important? I know I am guilty of doing this: "Hey, how are you?" And then shortly after saying I had something else to do that was "more important" than talking to that person. What are you missing because you are "too busy" for them? We are constantly trying to prove ourselves-in life, work, relationships, etc. I am quickly approaching my 5 year high school reunion, and if I go, what will I have to show for my life? Several of my friends from high school are married and have families already, others have traveled to different countries to study, live, and/or work. What have I done? Would I impress my friends from high school with my life right now? What can I do to become more important? What must I do to be great?

Wait a minute. I am important. I already am great. This morning one of the younger pastors at NP gave today's sermon (I'm not sure of his name, once I find out I'll post it in here to give him the credit he deserves), the second in the series Shocking Statements of Jesus. Today we looked at Mark 9:35-37. Mark 9:35 reads:

Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all."

Well, you know whatever Jesus is about to say is important, because he sits. In movies, or in some cases, real life, when some one needs to say something that's serious, important, or something that you really need to hear, they always sit and usually invite you to sit too. I think Jesus sat before saying that for that reason: it's something the disciples really needed to hear. Conversations require time AND attention. To make someone feel important, you must give them both. We are all seeking importance in life-so the least we can do is make one another feel important, right? So then why is it so hard for some of us to do this?

There is nothing more devaluing than having a conversation with someone and they keep checking their cell phone. I have experienced this a number of times-and I know I am guilty of it as well. I have made the promise to myself that when I talk to people, I will put the phone away. I won't even simply turn it over on the table, I will put it in my pocket or in my purse and ignore any messages or phone calls I might receive. I ask you, my readers, my friends, to do the same. It doesn't even have to be a conversation you think is "critical" or "important". It could be a lunch date with a friend. They probably won't say anything, in fact, I can probably guarantee they wouldn't, but they'll notice. And if you notice that others are doing it-to you, or to your friends, I can only hope that they will realize what they are doing to the people who they are with.

So ask yourselves this: Am I seeking what is really important? What is most important in my life right now? To me, right now, the most important things in my life are seeking acceptance at work and doing well at my new job. I am also trying to decorate my apartment with this new found freedom that is being a young adult. But is that really important? Yes, my job is important. Being successful in my career is important-we are hard wired to work, to achieve. I feel guilty for having a job when the boy does not. I feel guilty when I complain to him about how I wish I had friends. I am happy with where I am with my life right now-but I know I could be better. So, am I seeking what is truly important in life? What is truly important in life?

Truth is: it changes. We are continually seeking significance and importance in our lives, but it is constantly changing and the "ranking" we are looking for sometimes disappears. We seek higher positions in our careers, more expensive cars, bigger bank accounts, bigger houses-our society seems to be under the impression that "bigger is better". But what about what you already have? Take a look around you. You have a family that loves you, and in most cases, friends who are like family who love you. Those people are important. So, to answer my own question: what is truly important in life? I think for that, we have to ask God. I seek a relationship with Him because of the great things He has given me-a family who loves me, friends who I treat like family, and opportunities to grow-as a Christian, as a woman, and as a young adult.

Back to the passage that we talked about this morning. The ironic part of this passage is that what we are looking for, we already have.

Jesus died on the cross for us because we are worth dying for. We are all significant, no matter where you put yourself in life, work, etc. There is a God in Heaven who gave His life for you. And because of it, you are important. My... honestly, I don't really know what to call him. He has helped guide me in my journey towards Christ, purchased my first Bible for me (that is a fun story that I will have to share with you, in time), became a good friend and, essentially, a second father to me. I am so blessed to have him and his wife (who has also become like a second parent, spiritual mentor, and good friend) in my life. I do not think I would have made the decision to become baptized without their guidance. I had thought about it, but never had the support system to find my relationship with Christ and move towards Him.

In any case, he helped me through some rough times in October/November 2010, and he gave me a book to read entitled "Sex God". In chapter 6, entitled, "Worth Dying For", Rob Bell writes, "You don't need a man by your side to validate you as a woman. You already are loved an valued. You're good enough exactly as you are. Do you believe this? Because it's true. You have limitless worth and value. If you embrace this truth, it will affect every area of life, especially your relationship with men.

You are worth dying for." (pg 123-124) When I first read this chapter, I cried. I have struggled with this since I started dating-and to be honest, I don't think I have been without a boy in my life since then (or if I have I don't remember it). I was seeking what was important: finding a boyfriend and being loved by him. Doing whatever that meant to get him to love me. That led to some stupid mistakes on my part, but since then I have grown immensely as a person, and as a woman. This book helped a lot with that. Knowing that God loves me-that helped a lot too.

God loves you too. Whether or not you are a Christian, God wants to have a relationship with you. He is seeking your love-but you have to seek Him too. But for me, knowing that He loves me is enough. So, you don't have to seek the highest position in your company or a relationship you aren't ready for to be important. You are already important. Jesus died for you because he loves you-no matter what your flaws are.

Until next time,  dear readers.